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The Real Me


Wednesday, November 07, 2012

The real me, is a scared, lonely vulnerable, young lady who, just wants to, be able to, better herself how, she wants to, by making the, most out of, life in general. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

To explain this, in the best, way that i, can i shall, use a quote, from the Film, Grease 2 (i, love this Film, loads & loads), Michael (Maxwell Caulfield), loves Stephanie (Michelle Pfeiffer). emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

But she does, not no that, he exists until, until 1 night, when he undergoes, a transformation that, she falls in, love with a, Mysterious Rider on, a Black Motorcycle, at a (Bowling Alley). emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Having fallen in, love with him, he explains how, he feels about, her & has he, lost the real, him behind his, charade this, is how i, feel at the, moment i am, putting on a, front i feel, trapped.
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I have been, attacked before it, is 10 years, ago since i, got mugged for, my bag cash, etc the people, who did it, got away with, it & left, me totally scarred, & scared to go, out anywhere. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
JODROX 11/8/2012 1:37PM

    emoticon emoticon

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PATTYKLAVER 11/8/2012 7:24AM

    Your blog reminded me of me - stuck in a place that I'm not really comfortable with but not quite sure what to do next. Hoping you find you perfect place.

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GOGETUMX2 11/8/2012 5:30AM

    Sometimes, in order to become who i want to be i pretend i'm already there. I don't want the whole world to see my underwear. But a few close friends can really know there's a safety pen holding my bra together.

signed,
a cancer survivor
heart patient's spouse,
& grandma to a seriously ill child

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CALIMAN1 11/8/2012 1:33AM

    you feel trapped, and I get it...at my age, I have put on many fronts throughout my life....but here is the thing, since in essence we are trapping ourselves to some extent, we can also release/liberate ourselves from the fronts that we put on....I think in large part, that is why I love to run...it is my time, solo usually, to just feel the wind and soar...and let the problems of the day stand off to the side and wait....

now take a long hard look at yourself and beneath that front you are putting on, is a unique, special, one of a kind person....and that person is beautiful just the way she is! And she is itching for you to let her shine! emoticon

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BALLOUZOO 11/7/2012 9:50PM

    emoticon

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MILLISMA 11/7/2012 8:22PM

    I've been reading through the comments and have to agree with STHAX10. Just be yourself and you might be surprised. emoticon

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XNANNY 11/7/2012 7:57PM

    I have never felt like this, but have studied things like this when in College. I hope you get some help with your troubles. emoticon

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ALEXSGIRL1 11/7/2012 7:08PM

    I love the movie also. I think you are tryting to say is when your involved with someone sometimes you can get wrapped up and be who they want you to be . and now that you are on your own you feel a little lost. It's sort of like when your parents die you can't be a daughter anymore you have to change things one day at a time you will find out where to go ,what to do. who to become . it is scary. You will get by one day at at time.

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WALLAHALLA 11/7/2012 6:33PM

    Write a description of who you WANT to be, then make an action plan of how you can become that person.

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SNUZSUZ 11/7/2012 5:24PM

    emoticon

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NIGHTSKYSTAR 11/7/2012 4:06PM

    well then there is an area to work on. look in the mirror. Talk honestly to yourself. Ask who you ARE...and try to come up with the answers..because we arent just ONE thing!!! It doesnt happen overnight...keep going until you figure it out!

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1STATEOFDENIAL 11/7/2012 2:37PM

    First thing I have to say is that life is not a movie. As much as we, women, want to believe that life is a book, a movie, a soap opera, or a dream, it is not. These things imitate a small portion of life and that's it. For instance, people go to the bathroom in life, they don't in these fictional versions.

That being said, EVERY person on this planet is vulnerable at times in their lives. Every person feels lonely, sad, frustrated, angry, let down, broken, misunderstood, ignored, hated, etc etc etc. Everyone has moments in their lives they want to forget. The difference between those who are depressed and those who are not is how they cope and take care of themselves. Most likely you didn't learn (or were not properly taught) what emotions are and what they're for, so over the years you formed unhealthy ways to cope and take care of yourself. It happens to MANY people. The good news is that you deserve to be happy and that you can learn these skills at any age if you're willing to put in the time and effort. I suggest contacting a therapist and talking to them. They can help guide you through the turmoil and come out a healthier person - mentally, emotionally, and physically - on the other side. Sometimes just talking through every thought in your head with someone who can be objective and can help you find better ways to cope is such a huge help and a dramatic change.

I know, because I've been in your shoes. I've now been in thereapy for over 2 years and I'm a dramatically different person now. Once I was properly diagnosed and found that talk therapy and learning about my mental health conditions was the best way for me to combat it, things became more clear. It took me trying several therapists and a few treatments before I found what worked for me. It is worth the effort.

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LITTLE_QUEEN 11/7/2012 12:33PM

    emoticon

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OHANAMAMA 11/7/2012 12:27PM

    I love that movie, too! Actually just watched it again a couple of weeks ago. Know that you are not alone in the way you feel. ... There are times when I don't really feel like I am on the outside, who I feel like I am on the inside. I want my reflection to be who I am inside.
Hang in there. If it's depression you feel... let me leave you with a very profound and insiteful quote... "Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes." - William Gibson. Often it's just this that is oh so very true. :)

(I hope I left you with a smile!)

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STHAX10 11/7/2012 11:58AM

    So many times in life, we can suffer from depression from the repression of who we really are. Approval and acceptance by everyone is never going to happen. So why do we repress who we really are. Be you and let your light shine!!! emoticon

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GOSPELCLOWN 11/7/2012 11:02AM

    Welcome to the club. When we grow away from our home with parents, it becomes real that we could be attacked, lessened, defeated, and life is not easy.
Scared and vulnerable is a universal reaction.

Most of us are acting 'mature, self assured and anything opposite to lonely'... but many of us are acting too.

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ANGRITTER 11/7/2012 11:01AM

    Oh man I get all kicked up about a "Coo-oo-oo-l Rider" ("if he's cool enough he can burn me through and through"). I used to be one and dated several. They have that rider side and then they also have a part where all men as pretty much a-holes at some point, and angels at another. Even my mother tells me this, and she has loved my father for almost 42 years. And THAT is a "job" she tells me.

Did you read all my notes in your past blogs? I hope you did. I enjoyed reading them!



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I.M.MAGIC 11/7/2012 10:50AM

    I love Grease 2 as well... seen it about a dozen times now, and it's a lot of fun. Michael appeals to me because even though he feels like it's all an act, in the end he realizes that it has simply become one aspect of who he is-- and that Stephanie appreciates him for more than just the rider he became.

The "charade", my public face that I show the world, is NOT a reflection of ALL I am, it's just one facet of the gem that is me... and it's the same for you.

You have many other parts to yourself. Don't let a momentary depression stand in your way, okay? We all have those moments now and then... it's whether we stay in them or move on that makes all the difference.

Cary Grant developed the characteristics he wanted in himself, by "acting as if" he already had them. It worked for him. It will work for us too, as long as we are consistently trying.

Shakespeare said "All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players..." so play the role of who you want to be... because that person is right inside you, just waiting for the cue to step out and say that next line...

Hang in there, and remember you are not alone!
Kathy emoticon emoticon

P.S. Thank you! I needed this reminder! LOL

Comment edited on: 11/7/2012 10:51:54 AM

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