Wednesday, November 07, 2012
I read an article about Melissa McCarthy and her weight struggles. Found here: omg.yahoo.com/blogs/bala
She talks about how people of all sizes feel pressured to look "better" when they really need to be happy with themselves. While I'm unhappy with my weight, its more than that to me. I'm really unhappy with the unhealthy way I've been living and the toll it had taken on my body. At 30 I shouldn't pyhsically feel the way that I do. SO I'm all about being happy with myself, I just want to be happy with a healthier self.
Part of changing myself for the better is celebrating things about myself. I think I'm beatiful even if I am carrying around extra weight. I don't always feel that way, and there are days when I feel horrible about myself. Days when I think everyone is looking at what I eat and judging me. I realize that it is me doing the judging and projecting. I'm working on that, it is a hard habit to break. I have been heavy for most of my life, it started as young a 4th grade. I think my mom just wanted to be sure we were fed, she grew up in a home where meals were sometimes rationed because they couldn't afford much food. There are foods she won't eat because that's all they ate, and my dad is the same way. He won't touch peanut butter and pasta, they were the main foods that he had to eat as a kid.
My parents grow a large garden every year and can the produce so they have it to eat all winter. It's something their families did when they were younger. They recently have started producing their own beef and have always harvest thier own fish (they almost live on the lake during the summer). They bought three black angus cows last spring to clean up the pasture so they wouldn't have to mow it. Then they had one butchered and sold the other two for profit. The result was beef from a grass fed cow that was also hormone free. They shared the wealth with me and my sister. The meat is much better than the store bought kind. What's the point of this story? I'm planning one trying to eat more foods that are local grown or produced. Foods from my own garden (or my parents') and from the local famrs that come to our farmer's market. I want to eat fresh healthy foods that I know just came out of the garden the week I eat them. I want to eat them as close to their natural states as possible. I want to be a smarter eater.