Monday, November 05, 2012
Like a pig! Why do these days get me and make me eat like CRAZY. I don't even want to tell you what I ate, but I feel so ugh. I had a stressful, busy, annoying day at work with patients yelling at me and saying some smart comments and I hate it! So, what did I do, ATE. I'm stuffed right now, with pastries and milk and fast food and I hate myself. I can choose not to get in my car and drive to the drivethru and walk inside rainbow and pick up these horrible donuts but, I DID. And I have stopped myself before but today I just couldn't. Everything is good in all the other areas of my life, but work, I just hate. I'm quitting this job in less than two months before I go to Africa and I cannot wait! I'm just thinking about it all day and how much I want to quit TODAY. Why can't I just have stronger will power. I was even in the bathroom today looking at myself naked (and clothed as well) and I noticed a difference. But there it all goes, down the drain. Why?!? For some stupid fast, fatty food that isn't even all that good.
I thought everything was going well, I was exercising, I have a plan. I mean, I still do. But days like this make me just feel like I did in the past. Like I can't do it. I just want to not have these cravings and be stronger and just do what I need to do!
It's sad, even the thought of having a baby for my wonderful husband and knowing I need/want to lose weight before it happens isn't motivating enough to stop my over eating. Just when I think I'm doing good, a day like today happens!
Sorry for the rant, but I just needed to let it out. Tomorrow will be better.
Thanks for listening. Good luck!