Monday, November 05, 2012
The Anytime Fitness in my hometown ran an essay contest and the winner would receive a one year membership to the gym. It was over on October 15th. The following was my entry which I wrote the night before:
I am a procrastinator. I put off unpleasant things I need to do until the last possible minute. I push things back until I am overwhelmed by the enormity of everything. That is the reason I am in the shape I'm in today.
I finally started this essay at 11:00 pm on the night before you said you would choose a winner of your contest. I have put this off because to write these words to you means I have to face the fact that I need serious help with my life, and that I can't fix this on my own. I had already dismissed the thought of writing this because I am scared. Scared of winning. Scared of everyone there in your gym seeing me try to conquer my demons in front of those big picture windows. I was already in bed for the night. But as I laid there thinking, it hit me that that's been my problem all along. I'm scared of people seeing me struggle with my weight. I'm scared of being looked at by people I used to know, because they all seem to have the same surprised look on their faces, and I know they are thinking I'm a failure. But the ones that truly love me have been seeing this struggle go on for years, and yet they still love me.
I have taken care of my family for 23 years. I have cooked and cleaned. I have home schooled my daughter, and helped her to become a responsible adult. I have worked with my son so that he will be a good person able to succeed in life. I have put off taking care of myself for all these years. It's time to start taking care of my body. It's time to start thinking of my future. I would like to still be alive to see my grandchildren. I would like to grow old with my husband.
I would like the opportunity to show the ones I love that happier person they all remember. I'd love to be able to show that energetic mother, the one that I fell guilty for not being, to my 8 year old son. He has never seen her. Most of all, I need to show my 18 year old daughter a more healthier example of how to live a life.
I can not put this off any longer. There may be no future to push this back to. I have to start today. So I am starting at 11:00 on a Sunday night. I am making a commitment to myself to see this to completion tonight. I'd like you to consider me for your winner. I have a long way to go before I get to that place in life I want to be, But I will need your help to get there. Thank you for your consideration.
(By the way I won. I have been going for two weeks. I am seeing several chages already)