Monday, November 05, 2012
I needed a place to journal and get my feelings out where my boyfriend, friends, family, etc won't see it or ask about it. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years now (Nov 16th) and I'm beginning to feel like I'm wasting my life. I'm 30 years old and not sure what the future holds. But I would like a more permanent commitment. I feel like he's dragging his feet and it's never going to come. Sometimes I don't feel like we are equals in the relationship, especially after he bought the house we are now living in. Some days I feel it is his house, not our house. This week 2 other couples in long term (over 4 years) relationships finally got engaged. I feel like everyone else is getting what I want. I love my boyfriend with all my heart, but it's days like yesterday and today that I wonder if he loves me as much. Or is he just not good at expressing it or is he scared to take the next step? I feel like I might be at a crossroads in my life and I'm not sure what path to take.