Discounting the positive
Sunday, November 04, 2012
There is no two ways about it - I am, without question, getting more fit and losing weight. But for some reason, this is something that is very hard for my brain to accept. In this morning's post I made a list of things just from the last week that are clear evidence that this is happening - the fit of my clothes, the feel and look of my body, the downward trend on the scale - yet somehow my brain can just as easily turn around and say, "Whatever, no big deal," or simply refuse to believe that it is true.
Take this afternoon for example. I was cleaning up the bedroom and found a stack of pants that I had not worn since 2006 at the latest because they were too small - a size 14 of some department store brand, a size 12 Calvin Klein, and a size 10 Gap. I had never worn the size 10 before, actually - they were a hand-me-down from a friend in 2006 that I hung on to even though I couldn't wear, I guess because I kept telling myself that someday I would lose some weight and be able to wear them. I decided to try them on, thinking that they probably wouldn't fit, but that I could use them as my new skinny pants (since the pants that were my skinny pants now either fit or are getting baggy). As I was putting on each pair, my eyeballs said, "These look pretty small." But ALL THREE of them fit. I couldn't believe it! The 10 and 12 were on the snug side, but not even necessarily in a bad way (my butt looked pretty awesome in the 10s, haha). I'm still in shock about it!
So, is it that I didn't believe I could do it? Is that what this is? I think this is an area I need to work on. I'll definitely have to include getting realistic about my clothes size these days so I actually get something that fits properly!