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Face the truth: you're depressed


Friday, November 02, 2012

I sure am. Well, since my weigh in. How can a stupid number change my mood so much?

The last exercising I did was my zumba Monday evening. I didn't go to the gym, walk, swim or jog since then. Wednesday night I went out with my boyfriend, sister and her boyfriend because we had costume concept (pics coming), and I went to bed really late (1 AM). It's been harder and harder waking up every morning, and I got up at 7:10 today. I usually get up at 5:30 or 6:30 if it's not a gym morning. Ugh.

It's like I became blind all of a sudden. All the progress I made is gone in my mind. I feel back to 205 pounds. I avoid mirrors. When I put my Halloween costume on - I bought it at the beginning of September - it was way better-fitting than when I bought it. And yet this only pleased me for a few seconds. Then I told myself "you're probably imagining it."

I know my blogs are depressing these days, but I can't help it. I feel stuck and ashamed. I don't even wanna see my coach next week. What is he gonna say? I feel like giving up entirely. These efforts are bringing me nowhere. I ate junk this week without even caring. I'm pretty sure that if I weigh in next Monday, I'm still going to be at 160 or 161 pounds. Because no matter what I do - exercise or not, eat well or not - nothing changes.

Ugh, just kill me now. It feels like even the spark cannot do anything for me anymore.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JANTWO 11/3/2012 1:15AM

    Hang in there. PLEASE do not let the number on a scale define you. I assure you that all of your progress is not gone!!!! emoticon

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SEPPIESUSAN 11/2/2012 9:03PM

    Hugs!! I'm sorry you're depressed. Please keep Sparking...even if you're disappointed, the support here still seems to help.

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