knowing is not always better
Friday, November 02, 2012
To say that this process of recovery is a headache is an understatement . My weight goes up and then it goes down and because I know the answers doesnt make it any less troubling I find.
I have zero tolerance to medications . I am taking Ibuprofen 800 mg or Vicodin 10 for pain just depends on the pain scale. I also have to take a antibiotic to make sure there is no infection set up . I have Phenogren for nausea . These are viscous to my system .
I take the pain meds and that sets up constipation . The antibiotic is good for vomiting or diarrhea. So then I have to take the Phenogren which then dries up everything ... I have to drink a lot of water during the day as to not dehydrate again and that leads to fluid retention because i have zero way of expelling all the fluid i am drinking .
Everyone says dont worry when it is done then you will get back on track easily .. but I am trying not to do any more damage than necessary and when you get up and weigh and that scales says you gained 5 pounds over night well it is just more heart breaking than anything because then I have to say dont panic you know it will be different soon. I dont feel like i am gaining weight but the scale is not being my friend these days . Tomorrow I have to weigh for the challenges I am involved in and I so dont want to hurt the teams standings . I knew this was going to be hard but I sure wish the end was in sight right now. It is so hard when you know you are doing all the right things and the end is not what you want .. I was really hoping to make 100 pounds gone by 1/1/13 but i really dont see that happening at this rate . This morning i just feel defeated and I am trying to hold on to what i know without giving in to my own emotions.