25,000-29,999 SparkPoints 28,467

November Goal: Don't gain more! (vent vent vent)

Thursday, November 01, 2012

So October resulted in no loss and no gain just bouncing around 250!

I'm really depressed. I go and go all day and I'm tired. I'm exhausted by my child's constant fussiness and crying. All I hear is "He's a baby!" Are there any other mothers out there who's child cries all day. In car, while I'm on the phone, while I'm cooking, while I'm cleaning.

I know I know....divide and conquer. Yes, he's teething. I give him teething rings but he prefers the dvd shelves and wires and my computer and chewing on the ottoman.

Yes I love him and don't make me feel guilty!!! He was sick last week and was up every single hour and a half for five days in a row. He takes over an hour to get to sleep even when he is tired. He won't do it. He' rather cry and sit up and rub his face.

He was sick because it was the first week I joined a gym. I wanted to finally do something for myself and he became sick because the moms in child watch let the other toddlers touch him. One even tried to side slap him but luckily I was there and told him no. (Its the local Y by the way that has had good reviews.) After one week he became sick with high fever and puss in his tonsils. He cried from pain, would not eat or sleep. I spoon fed him milk. I used a dropper and forced fed ibuprofen and tylenol because he won't willingly take it. My mom made me take him to the ER on Sunday which took my whole day and it was no help. My ped's nurse practitioner found out more than the ER doc. What a waste of money!!

Plus, finances suck!! Our fridge broke, our car is a ticking time bomb, I saw the stove spark tonight so I don't know what that is about. We owe $8000 in medical bills from Joey's birth and time in the hospital at birth, my student loans are demanding payments. I have no time to clean because I can't stand to hear Joey crying when I leave the room and we have roaches too. So now I watch him all day and I'm in four hour job training at night and my husband is supposed to be watching him but I end up having to handle Joey while trying to pay attention in class. I actually decided to take two jobs and will be in job training from home through December and I don't know how I will watch Joey and work and train and cook and clean and shop.

No time for me. At this point, I'm trying not to gain more than the 250 I weigh. It only took about six months to gain 50 pounds so its pretty scary to think how quickly I could see 300 on the scale if I'm not careful. I intended to get a second opinion about my Vitamin D levels but I have not made an appt yet. I also have four cavities that need filling too. At this point, some days I forget to brush my teeth. Luckily I do remember to shower.

So that's how I'm doing right now....not that great. Overwhelmed. I kind of want to go to my parents and let them help me more. They offer better help than my husband. Mostly its my mom. Home is a two hour drive. I don't have to cook for my mom. lol Not saying I want to leave my husband or anything but he's just not offering alot of help in the evenings and I feel like if I left him for a week, then he could clean the house and I can take a little break.

I'm going to try and go back to the gym next week. Daycare is going to be a must for me soon. But my preference has a 6-9 month waiting list. I have one other place to check out that I've heard good things about. I don't want to take him just anywhere.

I'm so tired! Probably the reason for the vent. I expect this month to be stressful but if I can get some exercise in the morning or some time alone, that would help.
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I wish I were there to give you a hug. You need some time for yourself. A break.

    Many of us can relate as we have gone through similar things. You are in the most challenging period of child rearing in my opinion. It is a painful period for mother and child. You will get no guilt from me. There were days that I didn't even have time to get dressed or wash my face when I was in your position.

    I know you are an educated, intelligent woman and that there are different methods of child rearing. I'm sure you have chosen the one that you feel is best for you and your child. You must keep in mind though that your child crying doesn't mean you are a bad mother. Children cry for many reasons and in a child this age it's the way they communicate practically everything that is bothering them.

    You are at a point where you child is no longer a baby. A crying baby's needs should always be met but a toddler is different. Once they enter the terrible twos their job is to learn that they are separate from mommy and that they will not always get what they want. It doesn't hurt your child to cry and you should not feel guilty because he does.

    I think you need to be honest with your husband and tell him you need him to help and give him specific chores to do. I did with my husband and found that he was glad to help but wasn't really sure how to. I think it would be nice if your mom and dad could come once a week and handle Joey while you got some time for yourself. Or go and stay a day or two a week with them. You need some rest.

    1955 days ago

    Comment edited on: 11/8/2012 10:49:23 AM
    I understand exactly where you are coming from and I can tell you at some point, it does get better. Last year when my son was almost one, we started a business, and put him in daycare. He didn't sleep through the night until he was 14 months old and it's still rare that he sleeps all the way through. I know it's tough but you can do it. . .Keep the faith, and if you ever want to vent feel free to contact me! I know exactly what you are going through!! emoticon
    1955 days ago
    1960 days ago
    I'd almost forgotten how much work a baby is! Try to remember that this time is temporary. Every day your baby is growing and before long, he'll be sleeping all night, telling you what is on his mind, and feeding himself. Take a lot of pictures because it really goes fast.

    As far as your weight goes, I would suggest to keep trying to eat within your Spark range and drink as much of the water as you can. Supplement with herbal tea or coffee as long as you aren't nursing. Even if you only drop a quarter-pound a week, it will still be 12 pounds in a year, and I know that there will be weeks when you might drop more. When you go grocery shopping, just be sure not to pick up stuff that will sabotage your weightloss program like sugary treats.

    MOney problems are a reality for most young married people. A website I like is He's just a normal guy with a lot of ideas on frugal living. He's been writing a long time, so his best ideas will be in the history versus the latest screed.

    I hope you get some relief as the holidays approach. I imagine your husband will be off work a little more and you'll be around relatives. Don't let holidays stress you out! Don't buy many presents--people never appreciate all your time and effort anyway. Limit presents to very inexpensive things. Holiday guilt and impulsive spending on presents will not help your money troubles. Your parents don't want you to run up credit cards on their behalf, and they probably have everything they want or need anyway. Maybe you can get some ideas for clever gifts on Pinterest. Even a hand-written note expressing your love and appreciation can be a memorable gift. Since I've been unemployed, I really limit my gift buying for people. I don't get gifts for many friends. I don't buy for adult relatives other than my mom, dad, and sister. That means nothing for brother-in-law or grown nieces and nephews. I only get candy and consumables for my kid relatives because they don't need or appreciate what I can afford--they are all middle and high schoolers. A smaller child might like a small toy, but likely Santa will bring them quite a few and your tiny offering will be overlooked. One of my go-to gifts is an amaryllis plant. After it blooms, the recipient can plant it in the yard or toss it in the trash. It's not too expensive and won't clutter their home. Your son is so young, he won't remember it and he won't appreciate many toys. Plus grandparents and other relatives might be buying him stuff. Toys clutter your house, and your baby will be just as happy with a limited number.

    Plan to maybe over-do the eating on Thanksgiving DAY, but not the whole week! Maybe you could take a low-fat offering of your own or a salad. You probably aren't the only one who is watching her weight!

    Have I rambled enough? I get a little carried away sometimes!
    1961 days ago
    I'm sorry you are going through so much. Sometimes maintaining would be the best you can do.
    1961 days ago
  • KARVY09
    Oh man, you are getting slammed. I'm so sorry. Tell Josh that he is a father and it is his responsibility to help you at night. The days of the man coming home to slippers and a hot meal are over. And especially if you are working at night!

    I'm so sorry for everything you are going through. Hugs!
    1961 days ago
  • ANGIE_1230
    emoticon My daughter used to cry if I didn't hold her. "Wearing" her was the only way I ever got anything done. Before she started walking, the walker and exersaucer were great, too. Teething is the pits. I thought I'd lose my mind when she cut her first set of molars. Baby Tylenol is the only thing that worked. Sometimes she refused to take it so I put it in her milk. And I say go visit your parents for a week. You need and deserve a break. Being a mom is hard work so don't feel bad.
    1961 days ago
  • JUDY106
    Hang in there!!! Wow! you have your hands full. You will get through it. We all had those days with our children. You couldn't of told me that I was going to live through it, but I did. I had faith in a higher power and that was what helped me get through it with my mind still right. I wish you the best. Keep hanging on! Hugs Judy
    1961 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment

    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.