soul searching and being happy!
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
I have been doing a lot of talking lately with my hubby and we have been doing our best to figure out if there are underlying reasons for us being overweight. Every weight loss show that I¡¦ve seen, the people have some mental obstacle that they have to get over. Well, we have come to the conclusion that while our lives aren¡¦t perfect, there are not really any obstacles for us to get over. I have medical issues that were seriously hindering my efforts to lose weight and that caused me to gain in the first place. On top of that, bad eating habits and laziness were huge contributing factors!
With that being said, I have been trying really hard to figure out who I am, what I want out of my life and how to deal with all of my stress better. It has been very eye opening for me. I have never really given much of this a lot of thought. So here it goes!
Who am I? I am a good person. I am a very loving mother, wife, and friend and would do absolutely anything for my family and friends. I do my best to make everyone happy, a lot of times to my detriment. I am definitely a people pleaser and try my best to make everyone happy and not to offend anyone. I have also known for quite some time that even though I¡¦m a stay at home mom, I¡¦m not meant to be that. I love my kids dearly, but staying at home makes me miserable. As soon as I can get a job, I will be doing that! I had a lot of guilty feelings about feeling that way for a long time, but I have finally come to the realization that my happiness should matter too. I am working on trying to make me happy as well as the rest of my family. I¡¦ll probably always put myself last, but at least I¡¦m last and not nonexistent now. That¡¦s improvement!
What I want out of my life? Well, with the election stuff, I¡¦ve learned a lot about what I want for myself and my life. My husband and I don¡¦t agree politically, but we have managed to stay fairly civil. Well, except for one night when he made me very angry and I made him sleep on the couch. LOL! He gave that issue some more thought and changed his opinion a little by the next day. So what I want for my life is to have a happy marriage (outside of politics ƒº), have happy healthy children that I enjoy being around and that other people can enjoy being around, to be treated fairly and equally in this country (sorry, I had to throw in a little politics), to be able to be healthy and happy myself, and to lose all this horrible weight without making myself miserable in the process!
How am I going to manage my stress? David and I are doing our best to get all the financial issues under control. Unfortunately, three years of unemployment caused a lot of financial problems. We have developed a plan and should have it all under control in just over a year. Seeing that there is a light at the end of the tunnel is helpful. I am looking for a job and will accept one when the right one comes along. I have also decided that I am not going to worry so much about what people think of me. I am going to start being honest about who I am and what I believe and if people don¡¦t want to accept me for that then they don¡¦t have to be a part of my life. I have started being honest with my friends and family about my political and religious views. They have not all been pleased, but they are accepting it and at my request, not trying to change my views! That makes me feel a lot less stressed! I am also exercising regularly, but that doesn¡¦t seem to help my stress unless I¡¦m kick boxing, so I¡¦m going to try to get back into those classes ASAP!
Well, that¡¦s about it for me. Now it¡¦s time for me to clean the house, go to school Halloween parties, get ready for a birthday party this afternoon, and trick or treating this evening. Fun busy day!!!