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Why don't I want to change

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Part of me wants to change because I see all the ways my family has suffered with poor health due to many factors including their diet and weight. I know I should change and yet I struggle to make myself care. A large part of me just seems to think so what we all die someday anyway so who cares. At the moment I guess I just can't seem to find a reason to care. I'm not sure why that is but I honestly don't care and that almost scares me because I know the "facts" but I guess it's kind of like all the doctors and such that die from these things they know all the facts as well but that doesn't seem to matter. I just don't know why I think I care for little bits and then I realize no I don't really care that was just another "scare" tactic I put myself through and yet it changed nothing. I guess I did care when I was living at the last place I lived. I just felt different about pretty much everything and I'm not sure what changed other than the geography but it's like everything changed. Suddenly I don't care anymore and I don't feel like wasting my time on goals that I don't care about. Maybe somethings wrong with me... I know I should care and maybe someday I'll care again but for now I just can't seem to make myself feel something I don't.
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    Old habits die hard. It is our comfort zone. I was like that until my body started falling apart. Now 1 stroke, 4 hnee surgeries, one messed up ankle, heart problems, blood pressure problems, diabetes, and finally but recently two back surguries, I woke up. It was about the time of the diabetes I took control. One year ago. I decided I had had enough of obesity, being homebound, and constant health problems. Please don't do what I did. It is a hard road to go down and it is even harder to take control. I did it, though. I am still working on it. I am no longer homebound. My health has greatly improved. I don't want to go that route ever again. I hope this helps you. I think you do really care. You have just given up. That was where I had headed. "It is to hard to do", is what you are telling yourself. It is hard work for sure. The end results are very much worth it. emoticon
    1963 days ago
    No, it is never good making one feel something she does not. And fear of death should not be a reason to care about your health. Also, any fear of anything should not be the reason for doing anything. I agree with you.

    Until you find a real good reason for changing, you won't. But you know what? Once you find a reason, your determination will sky rocket and nothing will get in your way. So hang in there and never give up on yourself. emoticon
    1963 days ago
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