Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Part of me wants to change because I see all the ways my family has suffered with poor health due to many factors including their diet and weight. I know I should change and yet I struggle to make myself care. A large part of me just seems to think so what we all die someday anyway so who cares. At the moment I guess I just can't seem to find a reason to care. I'm not sure why that is but I honestly don't care and that almost scares me because I know the "facts" but I guess it's kind of like all the doctors and such that die from these things they know all the facts as well but that doesn't seem to matter. I just don't know why I think I care for little bits and then I realize no I don't really care that was just another "scare" tactic I put myself through and yet it changed nothing. I guess I did care when I was living at the last place I lived. I just felt different about pretty much everything and I'm not sure what changed other than the geography but it's like everything changed. Suddenly I don't care anymore and I don't feel like wasting my time on goals that I don't care about. Maybe somethings wrong with me... I know I should care and maybe someday I'll care again but for now I just can't seem to make myself feel something I don't.