Tuesday, October 30, 2012
So there I was....having tracked everything I had eaten for the morning. Getting ready to go for a walk outside since it wasn't really THAT cold outside...excited to do a few sit-ups even. Then it happened- an emotional trigger. I knew what it was, but that didn't stop my immediate reaction...I ate...a lot. I went to McDonald's and snuck in two cheeseburgers and a small fry. And then I wanted to cry. I don't understand why I can't get it through my thick skull that things like this are going to happen. I can't let negative comments and feelings get me anymore but they do.
I haven't been doing as much as I could on this challenge, and I know it. I was really trying for a jump start yesterday, and it just blew up in my face. I'm feeling lost, and I know I've lost that spark that really motivated me at the beginning of the challenge. Everyone was so supportive of everyone else...it was so nice! Now I'm feeling bitter and thinking of quitting...I'm not really helping my team members. ugh! I haven't even been following my team that much lately because I feel worthless compared to the others that have been doing so great. Not really sure what I want to do anymore.
Things that I know:
1. I don't want to weigh as much as I do anymore.
2. I don't like the way I feel in my body. I feel sluggish and tired (part of this is b/c of my job).
3. I want to feel healthy again.
4. I want to be around for my kids when they're older. I want to be the mother my mom never was for me.
5. I've seen that I CAN do it...but I'm lacking motivation.
6. My mind is my own worst enemy.
I think the most important one for me is number four. I can do this, but I really need to find some motivation. I'm waiting on a call back from my insurance company to find out if I can get a discounted gym membership, and then I'll start pushing myself to go after work. I would love to hear feedback from others on how they got over the slump...I think I need a big push in the tush!