Monday, October 29, 2012
The Universe gave me two Life Lessons last Thursday.
1. Love and accept what is. That includes my body.
About a month ago I started fixating on my belly. There'd be a quiet "I wish it were smaller" or a sneaky "It would look better if" creep into my mind. Long story short it turned into a bunch of nasty self-criticism.
Today, I'm practicing mindfulness of my thoughts and feelings, while loving and accepting my body as it is right now. For what I can change, I'm changing. For what I can't I'm letting go.
2. Numbing with food is an attempt to avoid feeling vulnerable.
A couple weeks ago when I had my self-compassion breakthrough, I wasn't expecting to feel so much more compassion for humanity. I wanted to hug each person I met because I *knew* they had their own struggles, their own heartbreaks, their own muck they were slogging through. My heart hurt for others because my shame was their shame and their shame was my own.
Oh, the vulnerability I felt! Oh, how raw I felt! Oh, how overwhelmed I felt! In an effort to protect, I've been eating.
Today, I'm back to normal eating. Eating when I'm hungry and stopping when I'm full. I'm living in my strength and know I can feel feelings without eating.
It's a Serenity Prayer kind of day.