Sunday, October 28, 2012
I admit, I feel a bit " highschool" posting this problem, but I am seriously looking for ideas from others who may have been in this situation before.
I have two really close girlfriends I have known for nine years now. At one point all of us worked together at the same company and enjoyed it. I also live in a very small town of about 2000 people.
Over the last year and a half I have witnessed these two ladies move further and further apart. Some small things happened between them and thier family members that created this rift. I wonder if, too, it was just a natural progression in thier relationship.
One friend respects that I am close to the other, and tries not to offend me when she speaks of the other, and only does so when something is really bothering her and she needs an opinion on how to deal.
The other friend is very sensitive, and feels very hurt by the other, and lashes out in frustration at times. I find it harder to be supportive because I feel she expects me to see everything from her point of view. When I express myself in what I believe to be an honest and caring manner, I am trying to help her but she usually takes it poorly, and then things are uncomfortable for us for awhile.
I am trying very hard now to stay neutral, and just keep out of their affairs, but also want to help them both come to a better understanding of eachother's intentions.
As an example, I attended church with the first friend, and we discussed how she was trying to be more positive, and learn forgiveness in her life. She was going to phone my other girlfriend and talk to her. They havent spoken in a long time. A few weeks earlier, my first friend had blocked the other friend on facebook. I totally understood why, as she was afraid of saying something unpleasant, but then felt bad for the other who was really hurt by that. Sadly, the hurt friend posted a status on fb that called the first a bully, without naming names. There were 37 replies from people roasting this "bully", and it made me sick reading them! I did not say anything to either lady about this. Word got back to the first friend about the bully post. She then decided not to call the other to make amends.
There have been many instances where I hear one lady making an assumption about the other that is false. All i can suggest is for one of them to talk to the other. I find it soo sad that they each feel so hurt by the other, but neither has been able to break the ice.
On a selfish note, its really hard planning social events. I feel torn between the two, when I would just love to spend time with both enjoying life!
I also feel that my second friend, the very sensitive one, needs to stop posting these things on social media, but maybe that is judgemental of me?I don't think I can tell her this without her being highly offended. But I get offended reading her posts, or when she roasts the other friend. She told me she doesnt want to have to censor our friendship, because she tells me everything in her life. But sometimes I truly have strong opinions contrary to her own and I find myself having to hold my tongue. Sigh.
Any tips on how to better handle these situations sparkfriends? I am so at a loss:(