Doing something really wrong
Sunday, October 28, 2012
Ugh this month has been no good. One thing leads to another and I am up 5 lbs! Not like a fluke either more like for 4 days straight. I need to be consistant. Having 1 1500 calorie day followed by 3 2300 calorie days is not gonna work. My husband is leaving on a business trip and I am gonna work to be constant while he is gone. No eating out. No late night grocery shopping where I grab a 3 serving bag of trail mix on my way out when if I would have stopped eating before that, the day would have been perfect. It's like my body knows its getting cool outside and starting to gain for the holidays already. I have no excuse. I didn't buy halloween candy and I am not gonna. I have no kids so that should not be an excuse. This is one holiday that is not my burden and if this is kicking my arse, yikes! I know they say you shouldn't talk to yourself like you wont talk to a friend. But sometimes friends need honestly too and ummm Julie you have been a screw up lately. Why are you wondering why your 5 lbs up? I feel like I need my big gym membership back. Running, walking the dogs, biking very slightly and lifting is not really doing it. I need my zumba and water aerobics. If nothing else it fills my evenings better with something different than coming home after work and sitting around feeling the need to eat garbage. Or 2 bowls of cereal before bed. I am not ready to go back yet and my freeze isn't up yet. I can make it 1 more month.
I donno if I wrote about this woman at work before. Her husband entered into hospice a month ago. I see her when I am working coming in and she is always on the verge of crying. He passed away a few days ago and I saw her yesterday. I didn't wanna say anything, poor thing looked so sad. She was wearing his wedding band on her necklace. My coworker who is single told me "I am not afraid of dieing alone, I am more afraid of finding someone perfect and losing them". It's terrible losing someone but think of all the time they got to spend with eachother and the children they created, she will always have that. Even if my husband can be annoying. I am already dreading him leaving tonight for his trip. All the things we do together that I will miss. Walking the dogs together each night. Cooking for someone and sharing the meal together. I would never make a very good single person. I have a feeling I will be calling my mom a lot this week.
Here is where I left off with my photos.
Day 39: What number recycling is this white thing?
Day 40: I have been cooking up a storm. Yesterday I batch cooked sweet potato soup, tuna salad and made chicken with turnips, fingerlings and carrots and a salad.