This evening I'm feeling a bit rebellious and I head out to the supermarket, intent on mischief.
Not that I am planning to binge, you know. It's a characteristic of binges that they aren't usually planned. They just happen. No, I am just going to look round the aisles and find some nice sauce to put on my pasta because I haven't got the energy to make any. So low have I sunk.
I collar a jar of Dolmio lowfat bolognese sauce (when I'm putting it in the tracker later, the tracker doesn't recognise the brand and suggests a rather startling alternative which I would love to post on here but I would get into trouble for doing it. The tracker can get away with words we humble sparkers can't).
Then the binge demon and I go looking for trouble. I have plenty of calories left, as befits someone who's promised themselves a large plate of pasta for dinner. I start looking at extracurricular noms.
Pick up a pack of chocolate waffles.
Five at 175 calories is er er ahem . . . way too many. Of course, I could go off-piste . . . no I couldn't.
Well who would know?
Apart from me of course. Ay, there's the rub . . .
Or how about some biscuits (cookies to the American contingent) . . .
Ten biscuits with jam and buttercream filling at 78 calories per bicky, even I can work out that that is 780 calories.
You could have them INSTEAD of the pasta, of course.
No I couldn't. I've got my metabolism to consider. Chocolate then. They've got small, negligible bars.
Or dirty great 400 gramme bars. Don't they look yummy?
How many cal . . . Oh come off it, don't even think about it! I'd feel sick if I ate one of those.
You could eat some now and some tomorrow.
I won't, I'll eat it all tonight. And who's to say I'll have that many calories left tomorrow? Eh? Knowing me, I'll eat everything in sight tomorrow just BECAUSE I am trying to save calories to eat chocolate.
I win. I buy a Kitkat. Large one, 233 calories, and nom it in three bites before I get home.
End the day 100 calories under my top limit.
I just hope nobody was watching me on CCTV. They'll have thought I was barking.