Advertisement -- Learn more about ads on this site.


    EVER-HOPEFUL   131,570
SparkPoints
100,000 or more SparkPoints
 
 
not in a very good place today

Thursday, October 25, 2012

today i am not in a very good place and before i do too much damage(re emotional eating)i thought it is better to go it out in the open and then maybe i can access it better.this may rammble,it may not.it may be a long blog,it may not.this blog is solely for me and to try and buck myself out of it.i guess i am just plain tired and that it is all getting to me.this morning the alarm went off and i ignored it.didnīt plan to just felt so yuck but with lotfi not being here and the kids haveing school i canīt afford to sleep in lol.woke up suddenly to see it was 7.09.the school bus for zakariya comes at 7.30and ayyub has to leave around that time too.so when i realised the time PANIC,lol.go in the kids room to find they are up and dressed watching a garfield dvd.i was like relieved and angry at the same time.relieved that they were dressed.angry that they hadnīt woke me up lol.quickly made them there breakfast and did their lunch boxes.secrectly glad this is their last day of school for a week(normally the school breaks up tomorrow but as it is the muslim eid/byram tomorrow they have a day off,i guess i am just doing too much at the moment which i shouldnīt but that is life.my iron count is really low again which makes me tired.despite my bloodthinners it feels like another lung embolie might be building up as i hm having trouble breathing and have the same pain in my back that i had when i have had lung embolies in the past. i am struggling to keep my exercise up as i donīt seem to have the energy to fight food at the moment and believe you me that is what it feels like a fight.been doing sewing for my sil as she is having visitors for eid and my sewing machine broke or should i say died the death on me so i had to do it all by hand which took a long time and was not good for my left eye which is really blurred and aching now.i am worried about ayman as he wasnīt 100% better when he went with lotfi.i miss the fact that we wont be together to celerbrate this eid tomorrow.in fact for the first time since i became muslim in 1998 it is the first time i havenīt been uplifted or wantedto celerbrate eid.alot is to do zakariya has his asthma school so tomorrow after noon and saturda y morning we have to be at the hospital and i really havenīt got the energy to get up early to go to the moschee then rush to the hospital as they involve alot of travelit also means being up even earlier to prepare food as zakariya canīt have the food that is on offer for at the moschee or the hospital so even more work for me.in fact i have decided today that i will give exercise a complete rest which is not me.i canīt decide weather to go shopping now then go back to bed afterwards or go to bed now and have more energy for shopping later.the fact that i am even thinking of going back to bed at all tells me in itself that i am not good.i am also worrying about my up and coming operation,which i know is daft i have already had two of them and i know times are a lot differant from when my nana died in the same op when i was 24 but the fear is still there.i guessit is the case of too much at a time,what with lotfiīs accident,just getting over that thenayman was in hospital and the usual running around anyway has just got to me and before i go in a slump or go into hiding again i thought i would get it out in the open.writing this has helped i have decided not to add the stress of going to the moschee we can celerbrate at home till we have to go to the hospital for zakariyas asthma school.i will go try to sleep now before going shopping and the sweets etcto make for eid i can leave till this afternoon and make with the kids.the rest willhave to take it as i find it.thanks for listening to my rambles those that do.take care and keep smiling
SHARE
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DANIE11ECINCY 11/5/2012 10:08AM

    sending emoticon your way!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MRSBIGGLESWORTH 11/5/2012 3:23AM

    I hope you put yourself first once in a while!! You need to keep your strength. I find that a list helps in keeping the stress away a little better, and crossing things off of it - even the little things - can help make you feel like you're getting things accomplished and not so overwhelmed. Of course, you did it right by skipping some things as well - sometimes we just can't do everything, and that's when the list helps the most! You can look at what needs to be done and cross off the things that don't really need to be there in the first place!

Good luck, Sweetie!! I'm sending you lots of hugs and prayers! I hope you're feeling a little better too!
emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
HEALTHY4JEANNE 11/4/2012 9:56PM

    I hope that your weekend was peaceful. You have so much going on.
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
AHMARROSE 10/30/2012 8:45PM

  I hope everything went great and you and your family had a great time at Eid

Report Inappropriate Comment
AHMARROSE 10/30/2012 8:39PM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MOSTMOM1 10/29/2012 8:50AM

    Oh dear, I do hope things go better for you today.
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
JUDITH1654 10/28/2012 10:54PM

    I wish I could afford to send you some Youngevity - tangy tangerine and pollen burst - because I think it would help you tremendously.

https://younge
vityshopping.com/100957197

Report Inappropriate Comment
TRUCKERWIFE2 10/27/2012 2:49PM

    It sounds like you have a good plan for the day. I am not familiar with eid but I hope your celebration goes well. We are all asthmatics and I know how difficult that can be. Never heard of asthma school but sounds like a good thing to learn how to cope with it. Hope you do well. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
HALLALUYAH 10/27/2012 2:06PM

    Hello old friend, I am so happy to have found you. You use to send me so many encouraging messages and I am here for you whenever you want to chat. Blessings to you and yours Everhopeful.
Love Luyah

Report Inappropriate Comment
POSITIVELY_EB 10/26/2012 10:04AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
PEBBLES706 10/25/2012 9:18PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
ABB698 10/25/2012 9:09PM

    emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
RICHILA 10/25/2012 4:31PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MOMS100 10/25/2012 11:57AM

    I know how down I get when I'm tired. Take care of yourself, Karen! Be proud that the children got themselves ready and let you sleep a bit. Am sending prayers your way! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MILLISMA 10/25/2012 10:06AM

    Hope that this helped you. You have so much on your shoulders yet you are such a strong person. Thinking of you and your family. Happy Eid!

hugs....Mary Anne

Report Inappropriate Comment
MEDDYPEDDY 10/25/2012 9:53AM

    I hope the blogging did for you what it usually does for me - help me to get on. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
1LBDOWN 10/25/2012 9:41AM

  I hope blogging helped. I am not Muslim (I am a Christian), but I have many friends who celebrate Eid. I'm glad that you reminded me that it's Eid, because I need to wish them a Happy Eid.

And I also wish you a Happy Eid. Maybe the stress of getting ready has you a little down, but once the holiday starts, perhaps you will feel uplifted again.

Report Inappropriate Comment
BIGPAWSUP 10/25/2012 9:26AM

    Glad blogging helped. Wish there was more we could do. Anxiety is a horrible thing and I'm there with you. Hugs and good ju-ju coming your way. You can handle this.

Report Inappropriate Comment
JHUSTO01 10/25/2012 9:07AM

    I am sorry you're not in a good place, but I'm glad the blogging helped you to feel a bit better. I hope you're able to get yourself back into a "good" place soon, and that you're feeling better soon!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
RAINBOWCHOC 10/25/2012 4:25AM

    let's hope the fact all that is now "out there" means you aren't stewing on it. Time to stop doing stuff for the extended family while you recover a bit. Try and see the dr soon and tell him/her about the pain and anxiety, you might get some medication to help with it.
Sending hugs
Sandra

Report Inappropriate Comment
SUSIEPH1 10/25/2012 3:36AM

    Ooh Darling !
I so feel for you .. you must be so exhausted and this is bringing you down ..I honestly do not know how you cope ...
You have so much worry and responsibility on your shoulders ..
Know that I am thinking of you and sending healing vibes and so much love ..
Take care my lovely friend ..
Always in my thoughts and heart.
Susie emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment

Add Your Comment to the Blog Post


Log in to post a comment.