Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Well so far I have had a pretty good day despite the sudden weather change. It's cold and gloomy outside! But this morning a friend and I went for a 2.2 mile walk. Her with her stroller with her 18 month old girl and me! It was a nice walk!! Was hard to talk while walking that fast but we did it and it was fun! We need to do it more often! Her little girl has really opened up to me! Maybe I'm better with kids than I thought? I just love little itty bitty ones too though. :-) The smaller the better!
Anyway, we had tea and some yummy apple crisp that she had made! While we chatted about stuff. Learned a lot about her today! She's totally into organic and makes her own compost!! She's a very good influence if you ask me! :-) I could learn a lot from her! That's for sure!
Which makes me think that I'm lucky to have a nice handful of friends that are all so different! They all have had different experiences but somehow I am able to relate to each and every one of them! That's always very nice! I'm also making MORE friends! You can never have way too many friends really. I LOVE being able to go out with SOMEONE anyone on the weekends! I NEED these friendships right now I think.
Which leads me to my next topic. I have been seeing a counselor, just someone I can talk to, for the past several weeks. I'd say maybe close to 2 months now? Anyway, I just recently (one week ago) got an increase on my anxiety/depression medication. I'm starting to feel slightly different that's for sure. I have no idea if it's just because I really want to feel "normal" or if it really is my medication working. For once I feel like I am able to breathe!!!! Finally!!!! I haven't felt this way in awhile but I think things are slowly starting to get better. I really do hope so anyway! I'm SO ready for this! I hate thinking too much! I just want to feel somewhat normal and enjoy my every day life as a "modern" housewife :-) Id LOVE to go back to school someday or do something with my life. But while my son is still home for most of the day, I think I'll just stay put. Im OK with that!
I'm starting to feel different and I hope it stays this way! I don't EVER again want to have an anxiety attack! I HATE those! They were awful! NO control over anything what so ever!!! At least now I feel like I am able to "turn off" my brain and thoughts. I feel like I'm slowly gaining control of my feelings again and my thoughts and all the crap in my head. Before I felt like I had absolute NO CONTROL! And that was a really big struggle for me. Not being able to control things and not knowing how to properly handle it. Now, even though I still don't have control of lots of things in life, I feel like I can at least "go with the flow" now more than before. It's very liberating! I was a prisoner to my own self but now feel like I'm finally setting myself free!
With that has come a bit more exercise and healthier eating!!!
I walked for 2.2 miles today and yesterday 2.8 miles that I jogged! I can't wait to do it again honestly! It's suppose to snow tonight though and will be cold for the rest of the week. BUMMER!!!! But I'll get outside again as soon as I can! :-) I will NOT get on a treadmill though. I don't like it one bit!
Anyway, I better go. Gotta make dinner soon!
For whoever reads this and any of my other blogs....Thanks sooo much for reading and commenting!!! I have not been a great spark friend lately :-( I haven't been able to comment on anyones blogs. I hope to soon start again though! It's been tough for me to concentrate on anything lately! It will get better soon I hope though! :-)