Where Have I Been?
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Truth be told, I am not sparking less, but I am sparking less here. I am sparking more in my own life, doing things day by day that I see are mattering to me more again. Whew! For a long time, I didn't see any change happening, and finally it is, and I am relieved.
For too long I was living with a case of the "what ifs" which is essentially made up crap in my head that keeps me from moving forward. Where I am focusing my efforts on now, is building a better fitness base, and restraining myself from going to the gym and working out like a maniac. Just because I am feeling motivated right now is exactly why I am not. How's that for counter-intuitive?
My go-to behavior has been gear myself up and crank it out. But now, I am trying a different tack. I am SLOWLY building up myself and adding to the past work by increasing or bettering what I am doing by slow increments. Baby steps, darn it. I can't even begin to know how long I have been immersed in that philosophy but now I am finally doing it. WOO HOO! It make take me a long time to finally "get something" but I get it...eventually. HA HA HA.
The result of this has been a more calm, relaxed me. I am performing at my best when I am like this. I stopped myself yesterday literally in mid frenzy and got myself to stop. I told the person, "I would think about it." It's a 1000 % better approach for me. There's no need to frenzy or fret. I even drove like a happy human to work today. No screaming, no Jersey Girl gestures, just calm driving and Gasp - letting people move in front of me without freaking out. I am hoping it is a sign on good things to come today.
I am doing what I can do and letting the rest go. It is a beautiful thing. Try it some time, you might like it too.
Have a happy day, sparkies!