Tuesday, October 23, 2012
It's been a while since I posted a blog. Been busy with work, daughter and dealing with my issue (divorce). The final hearing is next Wednesday. Not to spill my guts, but this has been tough and dealing with emotional abuse and mind games. (some people just don't grow up)
Anyway, I'm actually excited about it and looking forward to it. Some things have come up that will help me with this issue. I'm not sure how the other party is going to handle it, but I am definitely stronger now to deal with it.
I can not explain how I felt just less than a year ago, much less two years ago when all of this started. Looking back I can't believe I was that person. I feel like I have 110% back of my old self with a little extra due to all of the support from family, friends, counseling and my SP buddies.
I wish I could say I have the eating issues under control, but I don't. I know I definitely eat better than I use to and are making better choices. But I still make bad decisions (i.e. pop tarts yesterday morn :-( and trips through the drive thru).
I think once this HUGE weight is lifted off my shoulder next week, I will feel more focused on myself. I still do my walk/jog. I try to get in at least 3 days a week. Two of the days are 4 mile routes in the morn and the weather has been great! I do yoga once a week a totally love it. I can feel a difference in my body and mind when I can't make it.
So this journey so far hasn't shown success in the scale. I may lose a few pounds, but then gain it back again. I can visualize what I want, what goals I want and I have even lowered my expectations on myself for the moment. I know if I can kick myself in the rear and get started I can accomplish this.
I feel like I say the same thing, just a different blog. I really don't have anyone to talk about this since my family can control their eating and can be disciplined. They support me, but it's not the same. My friends don't seem to have the issues I have so I just keep loggin on to SP for my support.
I am not a writer and I don't have time to write so my blog entries are sparatic. Plus I don't want to seem like a whiner all the time.
I wanted my goal to be 20 lbs lighter by this time when I started in March 2012, but nothing has changed. It is disappointing, but I just have to keep moving forward. I have a 5K at Disney in January. I am too scared to make a goal weight because I just don't have the confidence I'll keep it up.
Enough of my whining. May not enter another blog until after next week.