Tuesday, October 23, 2012
hi everybody--didn't get my blog written early this morning, but that was good because i had an insight attack later on, so now i can write about it here.
this morning i did something i do on occasion--i slipped on an old pair of blue jeans. these were given to me years ago. they are very well made button front jeans from LL Bean. i have three pairs. when my weight goes up, they don't fit--when my weight goes down, they do. i keep them to act as a measure for my progress--often they are more encouraging than the scale. so today i stuck them on--all 3 pair--each pair is slightly different in fit--and they were much more comfortable. one pair i could have just left on and worn all day and been fine. these pants are not cut exactly well for my shape, which means even when they fit all right they aren't exactly comfortable, but the one pair was very good.
i realized as i was doing this that my head was thinking--"hey--this is great. you can just stop here". then i realized that i am now at a point where i have stopped many times before. and then gone backwards. hmmmmmm.
with that percolating in my head i put my running clothes on and went out to do my podrunner workout. today began week 6 of the 10 week program. last time i stopped at week 5. so i had a whole new interval to listen to--a new intro, new music, new running tip at the end. as i started the running segment of the first interval i suddenly realized that i had just broken through a barrier. i had now gone farther on the interval program than last time-and was that much closer to completing the entire ten weeks.
i am what barbara sher refers to as a scanner. i am interested in a great many things, and throw myself into whatever i am learning with great dedication. however, the dedication only lasts as long as it takes me to satisfy my curiosity about whatever i am learning--then my interests wane until i find the next new, interesting thing. i usually achieve an average level of proficiency at whatever i am doing--enough to impart competent information to someone else, but i never master things at a really high level. what i am a master of is learning and being excited about new things--not the things themselves.
i realize this pattern exists in my weight loss journey too. i start out learning--new foods, new ways of eating, new kinds of exercise. but after a period of time the newness wears off and i have made some progress, so i stop. and i see now i stop in about the same place every single time. when my body looks a certain way and my clothes fit a certain way, the momentum begins to slow. pretty soon my interest goes on to something else.
that is what was at work this morning with the blue jeans.
but as i started running on the 6th podrunner sequence, i realized i had burst through a barrier--and it wasn't a foregone conclusion that i would stop here. i can press on and learn about what comes AFTER this oh so familiar phase. i can learn about new things that i haven't tried before--foods i have never eaten, an exercise class i never thought about taking before. at the moment my new adventure is water kefir--a type of probiotic. i bought some grains and they are fermenting on the counter. i can begin thinking more about growing our own food and learn ways to preserve it. i can look into supplements, whole foods, alternative grains and meditation. pilates? never tried it. yoga--been a long time, and i know that at my age flexibility needs to be more of a priority.
most of all i can begin to learn how to move into a second stage of weight loss--where i become smaller and more fit than i have been in a very long time. and after that the whole new adventure of maintenence presents itself.
i have broken through a barrier that has been standing before me for many years and i didn't even realize it was there. it was masquerading as a successful endpoint, when it really was just a doorway into the next room.
time to see where my mind will take me from here.