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    DEZZIEJAMES   23,911
20,000-24,999 SparkPoints

Who Else Struggles with Self Love?

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

I read 10 blogs today written by other SP members. I also went through various goodies and comments in the goodies I have received over the last week. The theme I noticed running through it all? A struggle with Self Love.

So who else struggles with this? Who else is the first to:
emoticon Binge eat when they are stressed, hurt, angry, or sad.
emoticon talk poorly about yourself to yourself or others.
emoticon discount yourself or your abilities.
emoticon decide not to exercise... you're not worth it anyway.
emoticon look in the mirror and truly dislike everything you see.
emoticon reject positive comments or compliments from others, they have to be lying.
emoticon recoil from doing anything that might put you in the limelight, or expose you in any way.
emoticon pass this self hatred onto your kids, because it is all they see from you.

Well if you answered yes to even half of those, in my eyes... you also struggle with Self Love issues.

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon





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It is time to believe in yourself. It is time to lift yourself up. It is time to for once and for all... do what you've always dreamed. Quit letting you hold yourself back.

emoticon You are loved and valued by someone special in this world. I am certain of it.
emoticon You are talented at SOMETHING. Everyone has a special gift to give. It's just a matter of figuring out what it is and giving it to the world.
emoticon You are worthy of being successful. Don't you dare tell yourself you're not. I heard that. Tell that nagging voice in the back of your mind to hush it's mouth because you don't have to give it the time of day.
emoticon YOU CAN DO THIS. Just keep putting one foot (or fork) in front of the other.

Why do I have the right to say any of this to you? Because I am a fellow Self Hater. I too struggle with what I see in the mirror. I struggle with knowing I am worthy. I struggle with how the world views me. I want to end that struggle. I want to become all I can be (without joining the Army). So I am taking steps to end my negative self talk dialogue. I am taking steps to breaking out of this vicious cycle of self hatred and binge eating. I am going to conquer this if it is the last thing I do. You're welcome to join me, because you are worth it too. If you're with me, then commit to doing one positive and good thing for YOU this week. Can't think of something good for you? Here are a few ideas:

emoticon Track all your food this week
emoticon Stick to your exercise routine this week
emoticon Buy that goal outfit you've had your eye on.
emoticon Compliment yourself every time you look in a mirror (instead of cringing and shying away from them. Yes... be the woman in the bathroom who knows she is beautiful, and isn't afraid to check her make-up before walking back to the table. You are worth it.)
emoticon Every time you recognize that negative voice in your mind trying to butt in, tell it to butt out. YOU ARE WORTH IT.
emoticon Buy that exercise gear that will help you stay committed to your goals.
emoticon Make good clearly defined goals that include nothing but positive self talk.
emoticon Drink 8-10 8oz glasses of water!

Whatever works for you. You figure it out. If you want to share it with us here then please do so, if not - I don't mind at all that you lurk and follow us along, just as long as you realize you are worthwhile. This is a Be Kind To Yourself Zone!!!! I am going to track everything I put in my body this week, in an attempt to be aware of what I am putting in my body and begin loving myself.

Today's Weight: 194.8
Morning Back Pain: 6
Exercise Regimen:

Monday: Pilates emoticon
Tuesday: AM Jog
Wednesday: Yoga
Thursday: AM Jog
Friday: Pilates
Saturday : AM jog
Sunday: Yoga

emoticon T.

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
KIMCOLLINGS 11/2/2012 1:53PM

    Terrific blog. So inspirational! Thank you

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MSBLT82 10/29/2012 11:51AM

    Thanks for posting this... I needed this reminded. I've been coming down on myself way too hard. I binge when things don't go well and then I feel worse and beat myself up for binging. My goal this week is to spend one hour a day doing something for ME. Maybe that will be exercise, maybe pampering myself with lotions and facial scrubs, maybe having a coffee with a friend, but I will be KIND to myself this week and it will be well.

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SEATTLE58ANEW 10/28/2012 7:42PM

    What a super good, awesome blog that describes me to the hilt! I've lost 62# so far and it looks like I'll always consider myself fat. There was an article somewhere lately that stated from a survey, that those that continue to tell themselves that they're fat after they've gotten slim, are more likely to gain it right back because they keep believing it! That's scary! I know that it's a mind-set thing and it takes alot of self-talking to get ourselves to believe otherwise. Thanks for the good reminder of myself needing to work on this issue big-time! I just had someone comment to me just today, that I was looking so good and I just like poo-pooed it because I said, "Thanks, but I have a long way to go". Ha! I could've said that I sure feel alot better or something back that would be positive about myself. I will next time! One of my friends had commented on this blog so that's how I saw yours and it interested me because it's one of my big problems. I have to add you as my friend. Hope that's ok with you. I can use some more of your great wisdom! Thanks again! emoticon

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ANDY_54 10/28/2012 4:38PM

    Late to the game here, but I just found this. How I have no idea, LOL. Thanks so very much for the gentle reminder--I needed it today. Appreciate it!

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IYA_EKUNDAYO 10/25/2012 9:37AM

    WOW! emoticon Award winning Blog!
Very empowering!
I love your Bahama Mama Page re-do too!

I wish you lots of luck when finding a new "Tank".
love ya' emoticon

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CLUTTRELL8 10/24/2012 9:30AM

    Incredible blog and so positive. I really love all your ideas on how to get the ball rolling towards a more optimistic outlook. I will be keeping them in mind this week and work a bit harder on getting back on track for my goals. Thanks for the inspiration! : )

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SARASMILING 10/24/2012 6:51AM

    emoticon emoticon you!!!!
We CAN do this!!! emoticon

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AGK3112 10/24/2012 12:21AM

    emoticon blog. I did read it twice and loved it. I see all these positives coming from your mind. I am happy for you dear and also going to join you in it. I am working on myself on point 5 (about checking myself in mirror) and getting disappointed. But not since last week because I am seeing difference in clothes not weight but it is ok. I am happy that atleast I am making progress.

Nice Blog once agin. Keep up the good work. Hope you can reach your goal which are listed for this week. Take Care and Have a wonderful week ahead. emoticon

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1DERLANDBOUND 10/23/2012 5:41PM

    Thanks for posting this blog. I often forget how important I am to people when I am stuck in my own black cloud. I am not a binge eater but often don't feel like it is worth all the trouble to lose weight and I might as well learn to just deal with it. I am getting better and am so far on a track that seems to be working.
Thanks so much for the pep talk.

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CYALE76 10/23/2012 4:26PM

    Thanks for the great blog, I still have some of these issues some of them I am getting past. The binge eating and rejecting the positive comments oh how well I know these I feel when anyone says anything nice its because "they have to".

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SDLEE514 10/23/2012 4:14PM

    I saw your title and my head immediately chimed "I do! I do!" not okay. thank you for posting this and reminding us all, it really touched me.

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JCARDINAL 10/23/2012 3:55PM

    Fantastic blog!! Needed that pep talk!!

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RYDERB 10/23/2012 3:28PM

    emoticon Me! Well except item 4, exercise and 8? no kids. Definitely happy I can't give pass my complex on to the dog. emoticon But seriously what a FABULOUS blog! Thanks for making it easier by coming up with such a great list of helpful and positive steps/goals. We are worth it, and all we should never allow ourselves to believe differently.
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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NICOLED40 10/23/2012 2:04PM

    You know I am! Wish I wasn't and really try sometimes to keep that voice at bay. But it's not easy and it doesn't come naturally. I like when other people notice me, but immediately feel embarrassed by compliments. I don't want people to think I'm baiting them to stroke my ego...I've known people like that and I can't stand the thought of being that way.

I'm my own worst enemy.

We should start a team...positive revelations only!

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POISONGIRL999 10/23/2012 12:12PM

    (raises hand) Guilty party of one over here!! Thanks for reminding us that we are ALL worth it.

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KATYDID412 10/23/2012 12:00PM

    Nice -- and thank you for posting this. It's full of such important affirmations that are so, so easy to forget.

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SEXBOBOMB 10/23/2012 11:56AM

    Nice one...I think this speaks to most of us out here! In particular, this quote felt like you were speaking directly to me:

" the woman in the bathroom who knows she is beautiful, and isn't afraid to check her make-up before walking back to the table."

Bullseye. I hate public bathroom mirrors. Especially if I'm in a place where there are a lot of other women there, who are checking their makeup and preening in the mirror. I'm the "head-down, out the door" girl. Stupid, I know, but the truth.

Thanks for the reminder that it doesn't have to be that way!

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ADARKARA 10/23/2012 11:40AM

    Absolutely! I used to be guilty of these things, but I'm not anymore. I am worth it!

I love the idea of buying the goal outfit. I went to the thrift store the other day and found an emerald green sweater with sequins at the neck that I LOVED. But it was a medium. I was going to put it back but my husband spoke up. He told me to buy it, so I had something to look forward to wearing. I'm a large now, with 50 more lbs to lose, so I would definitely fit in it soon. Plus it was only $4.90! So I bought it. When we got home I tried it on, and it FIT! It's a little snug but wearable and I was so happy and proud of myself! I highly recommend it to everyone ;)

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CHEETARA79 10/23/2012 11:38AM

    Great great blog. Thanks for the pep talk, Spark buddy!

I really identified with this quote, "recoil from doing anything that might put you in the limelight, or expose you in any way. " That's me to a T! I feel weird when I get lots of attention. I think other people's scrutiny is terrifying. I'm way too paranoid about that. I think that's why I don't blog much.

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