Tuesday, October 23, 2012
I've been doing really well since I reorganized my life into a healthy one. I have managed to lose over 8 pounds since September 30th and have lost inches from almost every part of my body. But I'm not happy. I'm eating mostly right and have lots of energy now. I feel great after my workouts and am starting to feel like I want to workout more rather than crash on the couch like before. But I'm having a hard time dealing with the sabotagers in my life. I have the motherly type that seems to think that she can't show that she cares unless she is feeding you; and the more sugar it contains, the more love it shows. I am able to deal with her usually by saying that I am already stuffed and avoiding her house around meal times due to my busy schedule. I also have my own mother who I only get to see a couple times a month due to our work schedules and the distance between us. We have traditions from when I was a kid, like going to the apple orchard and getting lots of sweets, that we are both finding hard to break. I was able to limit how much I splurged when we went Sunday and we still had a blast. I also didn't bring any of the sweets home with me. Usually, my mother will load us up with doughnuts, gallons of cider and candied apples.
I'm struggling with them but have managed to handle their temptations fairly well. It's my last sabotager that I am having a hard time being able to overcome. My father's girlfriend. I can't tell if she is jealous that I am getting my life in order or just simply overly controlling, but she seems to be going above and beyond to screw up everything I am working towards. It's not even just my diet, it's my school and my time I spend with my family.
She will cook the worst foods (like fries) and fix them in the worst way (like using the fryer). For a while, she had stopped doing the cooking at the house so my father had been trying to fix dinners. His heart is in the right place but he's not very good at it. I felt bad and wanted to make something relatively healthy so I took over one night. Now she has taken over cooking again. The worst part is that because our kitchen is so small there isn't enough room for 2 people to cook. So now, I can't even fix myself something healthy to eat with my family.
For some reason, during the middle of every semester of school she will get extremely possessive of my father to the point that he and I can't talk on the phone or go anywhere together without her. Even my father will say that she is very self centered on herself and her kids. My father told us the whole time my brother and I were growing up that he would pay for our college as long as we applied ourselves. My GPA is above 3.0 but for some reason I have gotten many comments from his girlfriend that my brother and I owe my father the money back and at one point she tried to form a payment plan for us to pay my father back. She acts like it is her money we are spending. I have talked to my dad about it and the difference is like night and day. He is more concerned about our education and that we are able to get a career than about the cost of it all. It is very hard not to get stressed about it which makes me want to give up on eating healthy and just go to a fast food restaurant and order at least one of everything. I know the easy answer is to just not let her get to me and just let go, but it's hard to put into practice. The guy she is so possessive of was superman when I was little and my go-to guy for advice and support.