I have been struggling with my food the last few weeks.
Some days were better than others,but my weight started slowly creeping up.
That's the first sign that things might not be right.
Junk food started to creep back in my daily diet.
That is really not a plus.
Then last Wednesday, I had a project to do that I did not know how to do, ( or did not feel like I knew how to do it) and emotional eating set in.
Sat in front of tv and finished off the bag of chips that my husband left on the coffee table( dang #@*% husbands) then i finished the ice cream that I had bought for thanksgiving supper desert,then, my tummy hurt pretty bad.
And even if I ate, i still had to work on the project and finish it,since it was due the next day.
Then on Thursday, the junk food craving was just crazy and I ate junk food all day. Pizza and Mcdonald on the same day-not my best decisions.
And by Friday, I could not believe how tired and blah I was from eating all that junk and excess food.
I even had somebody comment how I looked really tired.
When i'm eating like that,and the scale is going back up,i start panicking and the diet/binge mode sets in.
My mind is just a spiral of thinking, I have to stop eating(but I don't),then i think of all the "diets" i've been on and think that all I have to do is start the perfect one and follow it and everything will be ok.
But then I think that because i'm going to "start the diet tomorrow" I have to eat the food that I will give up tomorrow now because i'll never be able to have it EVER AGAIN!
Then my mind spirals even more out of control and I get anxious so I eat more......it's just such crazy in my head.
But this morning I finally took control.
I got out my measuring cup, measured my cereal, my milk and had a pear.
Then I decided that I could wait till lunch to eat again.
I decided that I was not going to die of starvation from breakfast till lunch no matter how my body wanted to eat(because of the cravings from junk food).
I also decided that I could have an earlier lunch if I could not wait till 12hoo without passing out from lack of food.
So I drank lots of water, ignored the cravings and made it to 12hoo without the world crashing on my head.
I had already decided what I was going to have for lunch(Black bean&salsa dip with rice crackers) and snack (high-protein,low-carb muffin) and supper was still unsure.
But i'm happy to say that my mind got calm again.
My body is thanking me for the good food I gave it (finally) and i'm back to feeling good about the program i'm actually on.
Thank God for sparkpeople.
I was spiraling out of control for 5 days,but before, I would have spiraled out of control for weeks or even months,gaining lots of weight and having to start all over again.
Tomorrow is another day, and I know i will make it!