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    KNEWMETODAY   66,210
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Smilin' For Good


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Monday, October 22, 2012

Growing up, I was told that questionably wonderful (and terribly wrong) ditty: "sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me." Yet, as a child, teen--even as an adult-- I braved many a torrent of insults, and I smiled--even laughed. I was not happy, but you sure couldn't tell by looking at my face!

Why is it that people think it's okay to be rude to others? To say hurtful things? Today, it's called "bullying" and rightly so.

I have had much time to reflect on the emotional damage caused by careless remarks, and I wonder why I didn't speak up initially and maybe thwart further attacks. I guess the words of the above ditty hold my answer. I held my tongue because "words can never hurt me." Maybe kids were trying to get a reaction, maybe they were trying to feel better about themselves by attacking me, maybe they were victims striking out at someone they saw as vulnerable. It doesn't really matter any more--damage done.

I smiled for years and, quite frankly, have been told on numerous occasions that I have a lovely smile. I'm glad. The tears I shed in the quiet of my room were never evidenced in the facade I presented to others. Friends, well, they really weren't privy to my inner pain either. I was one of those "jolly" fat people, the "jolly" an unspoken invitation to make fun of me--an invitation that was just there and, obviously, not easily passed on.

I've lived most of my life feeling unworthy because others saw fit to tease me and make rude remarks about my weight. Even through my education, my marriage, my job...I kept not feeling good enough about myself because I believed and internalized all of their remarks; I made their remarks my own. I believed they were right about me...I was so very wrong.

I'm sad that it took me so long to realize that their words weren't the whole truth. I'm sad that it took me a very long time to be who I am and to discover that I am not a number on my scales. Today I smile...and I smile because I want to. Funny, but it's apparently not as much fun to make fun of people who feel good about themselves. I'm not where I want to be, but I will get there...and I'll smile the whole way.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
KACEYSW 11/21/2012 3:05PM

    I know (and have lived that path). Keep moving forward. You are not the sum of you past experiences, but of the future you create!

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BOILHAM 11/17/2012 9:56AM

    What a beautiful post. Sorry your journey to self realization was a long one, but glad you have completed it. Keep smiling!

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MANILUS 11/11/2012 12:31PM

    Been there and done that! Now I am the one smiling for real and I am happy you are too! Believe only yourself and that you WILL do it!!!

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STEELKICKIN 10/30/2012 8:57PM

    Oh, your beauty shines through your words...your strength is a result of you being the awesome warrior that you are....

I have been where you are.

Keep smilin', chica, because it sure does look good on you!!
emoticon

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LITTLEWIND53 10/30/2012 5:41PM

    A lot of people say mean things because they just don't think.... or are just mean spirited.

The comments I hate the most are from so called well meaning busybodies who think I would be better off having thier experteese and opinions crammed in my face under the guise of "being my friend" and "caring for me"

Sounds like you are doing good now....... Yeah for you!





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IFEOMA4 10/28/2012 6:03PM

  emoticon our reactions are what matters most

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FRECKALYMC 10/26/2012 5:48PM

    I stopped by the "featured" blogs and happend on yours. This is such great stuff!! I have learned, too, along the way, beginning to accept myself just as I was in the moment was a huge step. We are changing, in flux
...we may as well enjoy the ride from where we're sitting. Brava!

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BECKY_LYNN84 10/26/2012 12:32PM

    WOOHOO!!!! I'm dealing with this also and have come a long way from feeling unworthy from all the teasing and bullying when I was younger. Great job!!

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JAYBIRDNFLIGHT 10/25/2012 5:11PM

    what a touching post. thank you for sharing. i too can relate to this. you hit everything on the nose.

continue to smile and shine. your deprogramming has begun!

CONGRATS!

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SANDYCRANE 10/25/2012 5:32AM

    emoticon emoticon

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NESARIAN 10/24/2012 8:48PM

    emoticon

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JOANNHUNT 10/24/2012 5:53PM

    Awesome and you keep SMILING THE HAPPY SMILE and BE PROUD OF WHO YOU ARE. emoticon emoticon

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TAMMYELAINE1 10/24/2012 5:02PM

    Right on! Keep on smilin'!

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SUTERSPACE 10/24/2012 3:51PM

    You have come so far girl!! I'll stand with everyone else and say how proud I am of you and glad that YOU are my friend!! Stella is one lucky girl to have a grandma like you. I'm sure I've said that before but it bears repeating!

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HHB4181 10/24/2012 1:57PM

    Glad you're smiliing now!!! emoticon

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JACKIE542 10/24/2012 11:17AM

    emoticon I am so happy you are smiling because you want to, keep feeling good about yourself. Good for you. Great blog. emoticon

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KARRENLYNN 10/24/2012 10:49AM

    People just don't realize how much power and energy words have. People who use words to hurt others are the one's with the problem. You're a beautiful person and I'm sure you're going to reach your goals. :)

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WACFIT 10/24/2012 10:08AM

    Well said, as usual! I think you are a beautiful person, inside and out and I am glad you have come to see the value in yourself. You are an overcomer! Be blessed, my friend!
emoticon emoticon

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TUNERVILLE 10/24/2012 9:45AM

    You are so good at expressing yourself here in your blog. Keep that smile on...

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WHISPERINGPINE9 10/24/2012 7:19AM

    emoticon

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WILSON1926 10/24/2012 5:08AM

    emoticon emoticon

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SHAZG321 10/24/2012 1:56AM

    emoticon

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MIAGDE 10/23/2012 10:25AM

    Keep on Smiling
Make It A Great Day Everyday!
emoticon

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JANNEPERRY 10/23/2012 8:13AM

    This is a truly insightful post. I'm glad you're at the point where you can smile. You do have a lot to be proud of. emoticon

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CHERIONE 10/22/2012 7:06AM

    Smiling with you! You are on the right track emoticon

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