Sunday, October 21, 2012
I had a binge early this morning. I am noticing more and more that, rather than an "emotional eater," I am a "physical eater." When I don't feel well physically, I tend to soothe myself with food. Over the past few years I've suffered fibromyalsia-type symptoms due to bad sleep, and the more I hurt, the more I ate. Lots of people probably have the the same associations... how many times did our parents cook something special for us when we were ill, or give us a frozen treat to soothe a sore throat? Unfortunately, my "treat" today was tied into compulsive eating habits, so I went over my calorie range by quite a bit.
I need to learn how to deal with this. Luckily, the physical pain was temporary (it was due to pain related to a medical procedure which is over now).. but next time, I want to try to do better. I want to recognize what is going on before it happens. I want to try to take a nap to feel better, or take a hot bath, or have a talk with a friend, or something else -- anything but stuffing my face with food.
I know I can't change what happened..and I won't feel guilty; I will learn from it. I realize now more than ever that my good sleep habits, meditation, stretching, and exercise are preventative measures for me -- by doing all of these things, I keep myself feeling physically well (minimal muscle pain, low stress), and the urge to binge is suppressed. I may never be able to eliminate my binge eating habits, but I can certainly minimize them. I can do my best to set myself up for success by sticking to my heathy habits, and by taking things as they come and realizing when I will be tempted and preparing for it. I forgive myself for a momentary regression into old habits -- my mind was dealing with the pain in the best way it knew how... but, in the future, I aim to do better.
Anyway, one meal of overeating will NOT undo all of the hard work I've put into the past 2 weeks. I will just pick up where I left off.