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    MORYNIAK   7,613
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Potty Training/Everyday Life


Saturday, October 20, 2012

We're in the process of potty training Nathan. He turned 3 last month and has been letting me know when his diaper is soiled. His pre-K teacher had suggested potty training and I thought that he might be ready, but he's been throwing tantrums every time I try to put on underpants, sit him on or stand him near the potty, etc.

I'm going to purchase some Pull-Ups to see if perhaps he's agreeable to wearing those; Anthony's day school director had recommended not buying Pull-Ups since they're so similar to diapers and are more expensive. I did purchase a small potty that sits on the floor yesterday; Nathan chose it himself. It has a frog face on the back and Nathan can press a button on a module on the side so that a story is read to him about Frog using the potty. It also includes a book through which Nathan can look.

David seems to be extremely frustrated with this whole process. This morning, I unloaded and loaded the dishwasher and hand washed any dishes that would not fit in the dishwasher (all of which are David's "jobs" since we agreed on that; I wash, dry, fold, and put away all of our laundry). I also stripped the sheets off the beds and sofa bed, vacuumed the living room and sofa, washed, dried, and folded laundry (and am in the process of doing more). In the middle of it all, I've been trying to get the boys breakfast, change Nathan, make sure Nathan sits on the potty, etc. David's been sitting on his chair, watching TV, and putzing around with his cell phone since he woke up a couple of hours ago.

I'm just so frustrated. He says he wants a divorce and I know that a marriage does not usually fail because of just one spouse. Everyone (David's mom, sisters, my parents and sisters, our friends, etc.) says that I didn't do anything wrong, but it's still hard when someone tells you that he never loved you, married you because he got you pregnant, you drag him down and make him miserable, even if those words aren't true. I've been seeing a counselor to work through all of these issues, but it's still hard. David shows no affection, but we've gone out to dinner and a movie, talk more to one another now than we had, don't argue, laugh around one another. I'm so confused.
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MORYNIAK 10/20/2012 9:31PM

  Thank you all for your encouragement. I think the most difficult thing is that my husband has not filed divorce papers, we still live together in our apartment with our sons, we share a bed, we've been intimate, etc. We recently went out for a movie and dinner, but he doesn't want to do that on a regular basis "because we are in the process of getting a divorce" (even though we are not). I have a feeling that he is just not happy with where he is in life.

He recently turned 35 and spends a lot of time looking at and buying things on eBay, amazon, etc. He purchased a $100 pair of sunglasses and seems to be buying things that he has wanted but we did not put our money towards (because we have been trying to pay off our debts, which we have been accomplishing). I feel like our dreams (buying a house, raising our family together, perhaps having another child, etc.) are falling apart.

We have been talking more, spending some time together, don't argue, and I just don't understand what's going on. This is the first time in a while that he brought up the divorce and it was only because I had asked him why he didn't want to go out for dinner and a movie next week. He won't move out or file for divorce because he says that he doesn't have the money, but he's spending his money on things that he wants (a watch, sunglasses, etc.) and had mentioned taking a loan out of his pension so he would have money to put in savings.

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SLENDERELLA61 10/20/2012 1:00PM

    So sorry for your troubles. The potty training will come. I'm working on it with my granddaughter. It can be frustrating. I think Pull Ups are worth the extra expense, at least they were with my oldest granddaughter.

The marriage. Hmmm. I'm 63, been married 33 years, and will say (tongue in cheek) that I consider the fact that I have not killed my husband and he has not killed me one of the greatest accomplishments in both our lives. It is great you are seeing a counselor. I almost left my hubby several times and don't know if life would have been better or not on my own. I guess no one can advise you, but the counselor can help you see your path. I know it isn't an easy choice especially with kids involved.

Do focus on taking good care of yourself in every way so that your life improves no matter what. I'm so glad I have finally through SparkPeople learned how to eat and exercise. Living healthy doesn't bring about instant potty training or improve marriages (usually), but it does strength you so that you can live your best life in whatever available circumstance you choose.

Best wishes to you! -Marsha

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DWROBERGE 10/20/2012 11:11AM

    We are helping with our younget grandson's potty training who just durned two this past onth. He is difficult and we know from experience that it just takes time and paience. Best of luck. It will all work out.

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MORYNIAK 10/20/2012 10:29AM

  Thanks so much for your kind words Erica :)

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ERICADAWN1986 10/20/2012 10:23AM

    Relationships are complicated and there is no cookie cutter answer or solution for every family... but if he said those words TO you and he's telling you that he's not willing to work on it and move forward with you than, just as one person can't cause a relationship to fail... the responsibility to fix a relationship cannot be carried by one person either. Make sure that you keep taking care of yourself mentally and emotionally. Hugs!

Good luck with the potty training!! emoticon

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