Saturday, October 20, 2012
Today's action step takes a page from good solution focused therapy. Imagine your life in ten years. Have the future self call the present self, from this life ten years ahead, and what would the conversation be like.
In ten years, I hope to be a social worker, who has advanced to program manager, and is know as a helpful and knowledgible. I will still be employed, but I will be planning my retirement. I can retire in 13 years, with a full pension from state service. I will be starting a private practice, looking at health management and diabetic teaching. In ten years, the daycare will have expanded, and we can vacation and travel, while assistants take care of things back home. In ten years, my nest will almost be empty. Hannah will be 27, starting her own family (I'm going to be a great grandmother). Jacob will be 25, finishing whatever college degree and seeking adventure. Bailey will be 22, and will have hopefully moved out. Connor will be in the middle of adolescence. My bedrooms will be empty, but I can see Steve and I doing foster care, or caring for cousins. Watching Steve with children is a joy that I look forward to for years to come. In 10 years, I will be turning 55. Decisions that I make today will affect what 55 year old Kate deals with. I will always have a chronic illness, but in ten years, I plan to be off medication, and treating myself with diet and exercise. But if the damage that I have inflicted on my body by not treating the diabetes for the past ten years affects the next ten years, I know that there is good medical care out there, and I will take care of myself. Every day I take my meds, and think " what a blessing science is, because life would really suck without mental health meds, diabetic meds, pain meds". Outside of work, and family, I hope to have a life. I want to hike with my husband, garden for our vegetables, cook for the family. I hope to be a good aunt Kate to the 12 nieces and nephews. I don't see that part of the family getting more numerous. I look forward to the next Carvo wedding, it's always a good party. I look forward to baby showers, and bridal showers and the rites of passage that come with a big Catholic family. I know that the next ten years will bring losses. My dad will pass away, and I will need to deal with the drama that the step mama brings. Most likely, grandma Carvo, and my mother in law will pass away. the Matriarch of the family will pass the torch onto the next generation, and I hope that the family gatherings continue.
Mostly, I would tell present Kate that the short term sacrifice of no cake will pass, and that it's worth it. I think of it like a pendulum swinging. It's swung so far to the right ( out of control, over indulgence) that I need to swing to the left ( discipline and control) before it rests in the middle, which is the balance I seek.
Things that I plan to do in ten years ; hiking, learning to can, gardening, health education- why wait? what can i do today that will prepare me for those adventures?
I have planned out my reward for the first 10 % lost, which I hit this week. Next week, at payday, I am going to purchase a pressure cooker and an immersion blender. I will check out books on canning from the library. I plan to make edible Christmas presents. By Christmas, I want to be off insulin. Then, the next weight milestone, (250) I will purchase a nice, sturdy pair of hiking boots. In the spring, I can begin to hike with the scouts. In the spring, i can plant the back garden. This winter, I will train for spring runs. In the Spring, i will do the COLOR ME RAD run, the warrior mud dash and Bloomsday 12 K. Why wait ten years when I can start now?