After the reflection from yesterday, I believe that this was my a-ha moment. I have had many such moments along the way. This I feel is the biggest one yet. It is what drives me. The resounding YES, the I CAN, The WHY behind the WHAT. If the why cannot be defined, the what and the how are mostly impossible or whatever was achieved wont last very long.

There has always been a push from deep within to go harder, faster, further and I never really defined why. Like I said earlier, is this some crazy form of middle aged madness, am I out to prove something, to show off, or is it bigger than all of that? I am convinced that if my reasons are light, egotistical pursuits of vain glory then all will fall flat.

This is so much bigger, so big in fact that I think that the souls hunger and search for personal excellence, the recognition of this desire, and ultimately the outlet for it, is the deciding factor on whether dreams will be realized or if they will be just that, dreams, fantasies that come and go during the musings of an idle mind.

This, to me is about living more and more in that state of who I am when I am out there, getting in touch with "the other guy" that lives within. Maybe I like him more than I like myself at times.

He is strong, determined, unstoppable, full of courage and confidence. A warrior.

I think every culture has, in its roots, some form of coming of age, of initiation, the rite of passage. I feel that all that I have done has been, in some form, a rite of passage in becoming the man I was meant to be. A trial by fire of sorts. The focus, adversity, the endurance as a fire that purges the junk from my soul, its weakness and leaves me stronger than I was when I started.

Yesterday, I swam 1 mile+ at the Y. I did around 46 laps in 45 minutes. 11 laps is a quarter mile. Around March of this year when I started trying to swim, I could make 2 laps without having to hang on the side of the pool catching my breath. Also, that mile was done without a push off. I turned and free floated in place so to get the best simulation of a steady consistent swim without a push off assist.

I would call that progress.

I feel so good about what I am doing, I was born to do this.

until later..... whatever you do, make it EPIC.