V started her new day therapy school today. I am nervous. Hoping for the best and jumping through hoops to have all the required paperwork done. I am just going to relax, go with the flow, and know that she is in the best place she could possibly be right now. She had a great final day at the school yesterday, and the kids all wrote her "miss you" cards.
I spoke with the dance instructor last night. She told me that she believes that DQ (my eldest) is a natural, and she is very happy that we made the decision to move her to the competition team. She feels she will flourish there. That made me feel good. I have been glowing... So proud of both of my daughters.
The girls got to go skating last night in celebration of all of their accomplishments. It was a school sponsored skating party (the school has them once a month), and they truly had a blast!
Once this weekend has come and gone, I SHOULD have all my sewing done. I will then begin to focus on my exercise again. Just in time for the new Bahama Mamas/DONE Girl challenge, Falling For Fitness! WOO HOO! I am excited to start this challenge, and I hope it will help me stay on track through the very difficult binge eating period... THE HOLIDAYS.
When we got home yesterday (keep in mind... I was gone from 7:45a-8:30p) I still had not had any dinner. I began looking through the cabinets for something to eat. There was a box of Betty Crocker Au Gratin potatoes.
When I lived alone... before I became a custodial auntie/mommy... I would make a box of those. I would eat about 1/2 of it, put the rest in the fridge, then consume the other half the next evening. I grabbed the box out, and told M I was making myself some potatoes. This is how that convo went:
M: Those are for dinner next week.
Me: But.... I am hungry.
M: I bought salads, and all kinds of dressing. Eat a salad.
M: You told me you wanted to eat healthier, so I packed the fridge with fruits and veggies, and you haven't eaten them once this week.
Me: I do need to eat healthier.... but I really want these potatoes....
M: They are for dinner next week.
Me: I'll buy another box before next week.
Me: I don't like salads. What am I supposed to eat? Just lettuce? That is all I see in the fridge.
M: Put some carrots and lunchmeat and salad dressing on it.
Me: Lunch meat isn't healthy either. So much sodium. And I don't really like meat right now.
M: Then put some chickpeas on it. It's up to you. You eat what you want. But you are the one who said you need to lose weight.
I'm so hungry.... salad won't fill me up. I WANT potatoes.
M: You do what you want. I can't tell you what to do.
He then walks away.
I then stand there and stare at the Betty Crocker box of goodness. Mmmmmm potatoes. Would only take 20 minutes. Then I can gorge myself on buttery, creamy, potato deliciousness. I get a pot out from the cabinet and set it on the stove. I open the fridge to get some butter out.
There sits the box of salad. There sits the four different varieties of salad dressing (he knows I don't like salad dressing and he is trying to give me a wider array of things to try). Daggone it! I want potatoes.
I toss the Betty Crocker box back in the cabinet. I make myself a grilled ham and cheese sandwich, and pile a big ole salad on the side of the plate. I sit down with M in the living room to watch Dexter and begin eating my "healthy" dinner, when all I wanted was a box of potatoes. The salad tastes pretty good. The grilled ham/cheese satisfies my creamy craving.
He was right. I know in my heart he was right. I was better off eating that healthy dinner. Better off not giving into that craving. Is it wrong that I dreamt about eating potatoes au gratin last night? I will beat this. Good thing I have M in my corner.