Thursday, October 18, 2012
This morning one of my friends decided to weigh and measure each other to see how our working out has been going. Just to let you all know that if this was a test we would have failed and been kept back a grade. Not only did I gain like 5 pounds but my life is FULL of stress! I am moving, my husband and son seem to think that I am their personal maid (Translation: The house looks a mess since they just throw stuff and leave it most of the time. Smh.), we have a big holiday coming up and family is coming to visit so trying to make plans and arrangements for that, bills are due, I went from single working mom to married stay-at-home mom in the last few months and all of it is taking a toll on my body and my mind.
HELP!!!!!!! I am tired of having pain in my hip, knees and back when I do the most basic things. My friend and I often laugh and joke and say you know we have to get up off of the floor in stages but those laughs are usually half filled with pain. The sad part is that usually we have to get up like this no matter what we are sitting on even the sofa and the potty are hard. It is depressing and I want to cry just typing this. I am so angry with myself that often times I let all of the stress and worrying overcome me until I do nothing except sit there and when I want to do something or feel better I binge eat. Smh.
I am a nurse and the idea that I have let my body get like this is soooooo disappointing. I don't monitor my food intake, I don't want to workout anymore since I hurt myself running and I have a workout partner that does not like to workout. I seem to have put all of my eggs in one basket and threw it into on-coming traffic. Smh. I can't keep sitting here crying.....I mean, I don't drink enough water so I better save what I have and secondly, it does not burn enough calories to make a difference so I better just get off my (you know what)!
So now what?! I think it is time I take this serious.....even though I thought I had before. I need to get out of the house and go to a gym. I tried to do this all at home but it seems as though the home workouts are just not doing it for me. Plus being at home all day makes it easier for me to snack on stuff mindlessly when I am looking at the pile of dirty clothes that are near the washer and dryer. So what is my plan today I wonder to myself. I think I should go and visit a gym and see about getting a week or 2 free trial membership to start out. I need to get on a machine and burn some calories and put some nice music on my iPod and have my mouth wired shut......lol......ok ok maybe not that but I need to keep up with what I eat each day. If I don't do these things then I might as well get ready to hit and go over 400 pounds....AGAIN! I DO NOT WANT THAT TO HAPPEN. GOD PLEASE HELP ME.