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I feel like such a loser!!!!

Thursday, October 18, 2012

This morning one of my friends decided to weigh and measure each other to see how our working out has been going. Just to let you all know that if this was a test we would have failed and been kept back a grade. Not only did I gain like 5 pounds but my life is FULL of stress! I am moving, my husband and son seem to think that I am their personal maid (Translation: The house looks a mess since they just throw stuff and leave it most of the time. Smh.), we have a big holiday coming up and family is coming to visit so trying to make plans and arrangements for that, bills are due, I went from single working mom to married stay-at-home mom in the last few months and all of it is taking a toll on my body and my mind.

HELP!!!!!!! I am tired of having pain in my hip, knees and back when I do the most basic things. My friend and I often laugh and joke and say you know we have to get up off of the floor in stages but those laughs are usually half filled with pain. The sad part is that usually we have to get up like this no matter what we are sitting on even the sofa and the potty are hard. It is depressing and I want to cry just typing this. I am so angry with myself that often times I let all of the stress and worrying overcome me until I do nothing except sit there and when I want to do something or feel better I binge eat. Smh.

I am a nurse and the idea that I have let my body get like this is soooooo disappointing. I don't monitor my food intake, I don't want to workout anymore since I hurt myself running and I have a workout partner that does not like to workout. I seem to have put all of my eggs in one basket and threw it into on-coming traffic. Smh. I can't keep sitting here crying.....I mean, I don't drink enough water so I better save what I have and secondly, it does not burn enough calories to make a difference so I better just get off my (you know what)!

So now what?! I think it is time I take this serious.....even though I thought I had before. I need to get out of the house and go to a gym. I tried to do this all at home but it seems as though the home workouts are just not doing it for me. Plus being at home all day makes it easier for me to snack on stuff mindlessly when I am looking at the pile of dirty clothes that are near the washer and dryer. So what is my plan today I wonder to myself. I think I should go and visit a gym and see about getting a week or 2 free trial membership to start out. I need to get on a machine and burn some calories and put some nice music on my iPod and have my mouth wired ok maybe not that but I need to keep up with what I eat each day. If I don't do these things then I might as well get ready to hit and go over 400 pounds....AGAIN! I DO NOT WANT THAT TO HAPPEN. GOD PLEASE HELP ME.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • KA_JUN
    Don't give up, channel that frustration into your workouts/fitness. I know for me, if I don't get it in, I can get cranky and difficult. emoticon
    1922 days ago
  • KATYDID412
    Don't give up! Even little changes will start to grow into bigger changes. Sounds like you have an awful lot of new stuff happening in your life, and it's understandable that you're in a tailspin because of it. If you're snacking during the day, try to have more healthy stuff on hand to nibble at than unhealthy stuff. Carrots instead of Cheetos, if you will. You can do this, I promise! Sending big hugs your way.
    1922 days ago
    You can do this! I promise! Lean on us-some of us are in your exact spot, some are ahead and believe it or not some are behind you. Big hugs!
    1922 days ago
    Actually daily exercise will help in all these areas. As a nurse, you know that. Put your workout clothes on every day, at the same time. WITHOUT FAIL. If it's 5:15am or 8:30pm. Whichever works for you. Now, let's see you're dressed. OOOOoo how good does your body feel after working out? YOU feel so good - positive, gotten something done for YOU, revved your metabolism, your body loves stretching after it's been used! REMEMBER that feeling tomorrow when you put your workout clothes on. Repeat daily. After 2-3 weeks you'll HAVE to exercise daily because it's habit.

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

    btw - get a new workout partner or go it alone (I do!)
    1923 days ago

    Comment edited on: 10/18/2012 4:05:11 PM
    Hope this encourages you. Due to serious past injuries, my body decided it wasn't walking across the floor anymore after I had gained weight. Stairs to my house were becoming difficult. I did ask God to help me, and kept asking Him as I started on giving up all the box and bagged foods and replacing with healthy foods and He did. It feels so good to walk and even run now! The chronic pain is nothing like it was! It is so worth taking the weight off. It takes time but every bit I lost made such a difference. emoticon
    1923 days ago
    Wow so much going on! On the weight gain, try not to catastophize or feel you can't begin fixing the issues. Of course you don't want a gain but you are NOT 400 lbs and you CAN get control back. Recognizing the problem is the crucial first step.

    I am a big believer in setting very achievable goals. Goals that are so easy I would be very unlikely not to meet them. And then I build on those goals bit by bit so they become much more ambitious but always withinn reach.

    Does sound like emotions are driving at least some of the eating. I am reading the book Shrink Yourself about emotional eating and it is helpful I think in pointing out our patterns of faulty thinking that lead to emotional eating.

    Take a deep breath and even more, please be gentle with yourself as you work things out. Take good care of yourself. You are worth it!
    1923 days ago
    Don't give up! Keep holding on, you can definitely do this! emoticon
    1923 days ago
  • TIG123GER
    I see a few issues. First, you need to set your family straight. You are not their maid and even though you stay at home, it doesn't mean you're a slave. You have to take care of yourself and be the best you you can be or you're not good for them either. Second, you have to make the time to work out and eat right. So, get to that gym and get moving and then go to the grocery store and get healthy food so you don't have bad food to snack on when you're home. Snacking isn't a bad thing - it just matters what you put in your mouth. Finally, you have to cut yourself some slack. You aren't perfect but as long as you are moving forward, you are doing the right things. You also need to set small, intermediate, and long term goals so that you can see successes and celebrate them along the way. That way you build up momentum for future success. You CAN do this - you just have to decide you are going to do it and take that first step forward. Good luck!
    1923 days ago
    What has always helped me is to set a realistic goal and shoot for that. Don't be overwhelmed with doing too much at once. I would buy an outfit a size or two smaller and leave it sitting out for inspiration or a photo of someone in shape to get me motivated as well. I also buy healthier snacks to have around the house as well as more fruits and veggies and snack on that if I get hungry especially in the evenings. I have a daily routine I like to follow and that helps as well. You can do it!!
    1923 days ago
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