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    CONFUSEDBIRD   69,202
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Maybe babies are scarier than they sound


Thursday, October 18, 2012

Scott seems more on board lately with the children idea. Kinda rushed into a stupid situation and it kinda left me feeling unprepared. Going from being careful for the past 9 yr to nothing is very scary. I have just been kinda freaked out for days now thinking about the whole thing. I need to plan things out. I wanna take prenatals for awhile before. I wanna drop weight before getting pregnant. Listen to me I sound like I am getting in the ring ready to box. I need a plan of action! The older I get the more OCD i get. I am listening to my Origins book again about how much the baby experiences in the womb. The food the mother eats the baby will enjoy because the baby experiences it. Do I wanna go to a hospital or get a midwife. I have been watching documentaries on midwives. They seem much more intune with the than doctors today. Plus how does drugging the mother and baby make sense when pregnant women can't even take ibprophen when pregnant? I am not ready yet lol I was so excited and dieing to have a baby now I am like, oh god so many choices. Or so few choices when your feeding everything u eat to you and a little person who could be developing badly from what u eat. Reading and watching too many things is making me nuts. One of my close friends with born by a midwife and so was her sister, she watched her sister being born when she was 3. I think she's emotionally scarred lol On that note my period started yay. That is probably making me more crazy. One thing I could careless about giving up is alcohol. I usually fall asleep half way thru a beer and my husband has to pry it out of my hand so I don't spill it.

It's weird having friends at all different places in life. Friend who stay home with 3 little ones. Friend who lives above a bar scene and goes to bars frequent nights of the week. Friend who is trying to go back to college while spending time with her son when she can. It's odd in our early 20's seems like everyone goes to college then after that we all just split off in different directions. Makes it hard to talk to anyone about the same thing or seem interesting to anyone who has a life so different.

I been running a lot lately. I need new music and new routes. Life is just getting kinda stagnant. I kinda miss my big gym. They are doing a lot of renovation so I guess it was a good time to take a break. here are my photos from the last few days.

Day 29: Photo for work website.


Day 30: This is a project I have been working on for 2 weeks. Shooting the same tree ever 2 days.


Day 31: This was taken in our warehouse bathroom at work. I looked up the building and it was established in the 40's and changed locations in 74. So I guess these machines were kinda lost in time.


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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

C4CHRISTINE 10/25/2012 10:32AM

    I think I pretty much could have written this blog myself. I know EXACTLY what you mean about the baby stuff. We were supposed to have started actively trying as of now, but when I decided to do my masters, I went back on BC......I kind of feel relieved that I have another 2.5 years before we go there again.

I love the tree!!

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JEREMY723 10/20/2012 2:00PM

    I love #30! I wish our big oak changed colors like that!

Having a son has pros and cons for sure. That said, there's nothing like it!

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JPONCIN 10/20/2012 3:56AM

    Aww, you are so sweet, and you worry so much. Babies are awesome, and you will love being a mommy. It's not as scary as you think. I love your perspective about eating while pg; the baby eats everything you eat! I wish I had thought that way when having my kids!!! Instead, I went to DQ almost every day of every pregnancy!!! I guess my hormones drove me. Anyway, yes it's a big decision, but once you go down that road, you'll never regret it. My kids are my life, and I learn so much more about life thanks to them. Parenting is an amazing journey, and you and Scott will love it. :)

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BEMILLER30 10/19/2012 5:02PM

    Great blog! You will be a wonderful Mother one day. And I think it's a great first step that you are already thinking about what you feed yourself affects baby. :) I like what someone else said about making a list of everything you have a question about.

I LOVE your pics. You do awesome work!

Have a great weekend!!


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LINZEE636 10/19/2012 9:11AM

    Thank you so much for this blog!!! This is exactly what I'm going through right now! About a month ago, my DH tells me he wants to have a "serious" discussion about TTC and less than a month later, he's ready to go! Now I'm more scared than ever and feel guilty that DH feel ready before I am. I give him my reasons why I'm not ready yet and he says they're all "excuses" and you will never feel full "ready", but still the whole idea gets me very anxious. Sometimes I feel super excited about becoming a mom, and sometimes I find myself going crazy asking myself all the same questions you are debating.

I don't have any advice, but rest easy knowing there's someone else out there in your shoes!!!

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PHEBESS 10/18/2012 7:15PM

    I think your photos are getting better and better - I love the changing trees!

And I personally skipped the whole baby thing, because newborns seriously creep me out! I love having young adult nieces and nephews, they fill in as kids - but I know a lot of people love being parents, so more power to you!

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AZULVIOLETA6 10/18/2012 4:41PM

    Taking care of an actual baby is not hard, just relentless.

As for all of the questions that you have about pregnancy, birth and taking care of a newborn...make a list of all of the questions that you have and all of the decisions that you need to make. Having it all down on paper can make things feel more in control.

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FITBECKSRN24 10/18/2012 4:34PM

    you will know when the time is right. and just listen to your body....woman have been doing this for hundreds and thousands of years....and we still exist =)

i am very OCD as well....and i finally got to a point where i just let go and listened to my body....it was very liberating!

OH and sidenote...you can have ibuprofen. they just dont recommend it. i took it for a while while i was preggo with severe back spasms. tylenol and heating pads werent working. they mostly just dont want you to take it if your bleeding, or towards the end of your pregnancy in case you go into labor, they dont want you to bleed any easier. i was right in the middle of my pregnancy and never had any issues with bleeding so it was ok for me to take. i also had a friend who was contracting early and on bedrest and they also let her take ibuprofen for the pain.

i definitely like the idea of a midwife.....they are deff much more in tune with your body and letting you do what feels natural.

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MORTICIAADDAMS 10/18/2012 11:34AM

    A midwife is good if you have no problems during pregnancy and are not high risk. If not a midwife then I would get one of the new delivery suites where the family stays in one room and labor, delivery, and recovery all occur there under conditions that are agreed upon by the family. They are common now.

I love the autumn scene. So pretty. It's amazing to see a tree change that fast.

Those machines look in really good shape. LOL.

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HOLA_AMIGA 10/18/2012 11:11AM

    You will love being a mother. :) also, go with a midwife.

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GINNIE535 10/18/2012 10:26AM

    I can totally relate to this- my new husband and I are talking about this- it is a lot to think about and especially for someone like me that has gone through so much emotional turmoil surrounding my weight. I imagine I will be a bit crazy once I get pregnant and start to gain weight. And after the baby losing the weight I imagine will be really tough for me. I too have started to read lots of blogs about babies and care, pregnancy, nutrition for during and after pregnancy, breast feeding, midwives... ahhhh too much! My thoughts are just to take it one day at a time and take care of myself the best I can whatever stage I am at. *Sigh* A blessed life we lead with so many choices and excitement ahead- sometimes its hard to see how blessed we are :) Have a great day!

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SEAWILLOW 10/18/2012 10:02AM

    I am going to enjoy my 5th grandson in a few months..parenting is not an exact science and babies don't come with owner's manuals..you will do fine...your pictures are wonderful!

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PAPER_WINGS18 10/18/2012 10:02AM

    awww BABIES!!! so are you guys TTC right now??? Very exciting!

I think that's why I'm still on the fence about having kid(s). SO many choices/decisions. It freaks me out that you care for that little one- what if I make a wrong choice? what If I dos omething wrong? ahhh! yeah. STRESS central. You will be great at it though!

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