Thursday, October 18, 2012
Scott seems more on board lately with the children idea. Kinda rushed into a stupid situation and it kinda left me feeling unprepared. Going from being careful for the past 9 yr to nothing is very scary. I have just been kinda freaked out for days now thinking about the whole thing. I need to plan things out. I wanna take prenatals for awhile before. I wanna drop weight before getting pregnant. Listen to me I sound like I am getting in the ring ready to box. I need a plan of action! The older I get the more OCD i get. I am listening to my Origins book again about how much the baby experiences in the womb. The food the mother eats the baby will enjoy because the baby experiences it. Do I wanna go to a hospital or get a midwife. I have been watching documentaries on midwives. They seem much more intune with the than doctors today. Plus how does drugging the mother and baby make sense when pregnant women can't even take ibprophen when pregnant? I am not ready yet lol I was so excited and dieing to have a baby now I am like, oh god so many choices. Or so few choices when your feeding everything u eat to you and a little person who could be developing badly from what u eat. Reading and watching too many things is making me nuts. One of my close friends with born by a midwife and so was her sister, she watched her sister being born when she was 3. I think she's emotionally scarred lol On that note my period started yay. That is probably making me more crazy. One thing I could careless about giving up is alcohol. I usually fall asleep half way thru a beer and my husband has to pry it out of my hand so I don't spill it.
It's weird having friends at all different places in life. Friend who stay home with 3 little ones. Friend who lives above a bar scene and goes to bars frequent nights of the week. Friend who is trying to go back to college while spending time with her son when she can. It's odd in our early 20's seems like everyone goes to college then after that we all just split off in different directions. Makes it hard to talk to anyone about the same thing or seem interesting to anyone who has a life so different.
I been running a lot lately. I need new music and new routes. Life is just getting kinda stagnant. I kinda miss my big gym. They are doing a lot of renovation so I guess it was a good time to take a break. here are my photos from the last few days.
Day 29: Photo for work website.
Day 30: This is a project I have been working on for 2 weeks. Shooting the same tree ever 2 days.
Day 31: This was taken in our warehouse bathroom at work. I looked up the building and it was established in the 40's and changed locations in 74. So I guess these machines were kinda lost in time.