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    ELAINEANNE1   5,291
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I don't feel like bothering anymore

Thursday, October 18, 2012

As most people who read this know I am a carer for my husband and it is over 5 weeks now since he went down to a very low mood, I am having great difficulty in coping and wonder if it is all worth it.
Over the last year I have managed to lose 0ver 14 pound with great difficulty but I am in danger of just giving up and not bothering anymore, I just feel like crying all the time and eating whatever comes to hand, it is not easy to get a doctors appointment and what could she do anyway.
I have made an appointment with a lady from the carers service (charity run) but that is not until next Wednesday and it seems a long way off. I hope to get to the mental health forum tomorrow but it all seems hopeless to me. emoticon
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SAINTBERNARD6 10/29/2012 7:55PM

    I was a care giver for my mom, dad, and husband so I know what you are going through. The answer is YES YES YES---you are worth it.Care giving is a 26 hour 8 day a week job. Yes it is a job with no days off or no pay and most of the time no appreciation. You have the hardest job there is watching a loved one decline and feeling so alone and helpless.

Do you belong to a church? If so, ask for some help. Please check out the agencies in your area. Social services should be able to help you. Try the Salvation Army---if they can't help directly maybe they can offer suggestions.

If your doctor isn't understanding or concerned enough to offer help or referrals then maybe it's time to look for a different doctor.

Being a retired psychiatric nurse, I know you must take care of yourself first in order to be mentally and physically able to care for your husband.

Feel free to email me if you need to spout, vent, cry, talk, or just want a hug...

God is with you and He will help you through this and so will we....Elsie

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BEEBEE1936 10/19/2012 6:59AM

    The suggestions given are right on target. #1 Find a support group. #2 Make time for yourself. I think caregivers can get someone to stay with the one they are caring for a day, so they can get away from the situation. Probably a support group would help you with this. Do what ever ,on that day, that would comfort you. Go to a movie, have lunch with some friends, go shopping.

You aren't alone, its obvious there are people here who care for you. Even though we only know one another on SP.

Prayer is also so important. God hears our prayers and cares about whatever it is we are dealing with.
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Betty

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LUCINDARW 10/18/2012 10:48PM

    Please listen to all the advice given in all the post. People care about you and your situation. Looking for a caregivers support group would be very helpful. Lucinda

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AQUAGIRL08 10/18/2012 2:52PM

    I'm so sorry that you are having such a rough time. Just a suggestion, check with your local hospital and see if there is a care-giver's support group. Most of them are free and you can connect with others who are in the same position - caring for an ill loved one. Take care and don't give up on your journey.

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JOURNEYTOI 10/18/2012 1:08PM

  I want you to know that I am here for you. Your post made me cry and I so wanted to reach thru the computer and hug you. Just know that, like everyone else has said here, you are not alone. I have felt that way before (just yesterday, as a matter of fact) and its a horrible feeling. Take time for you...

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KATHIES518 10/18/2012 12:45PM

    Please listen to all of the loving advice given here and know that you are being prayed for. emoticon

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SHOAPIE 10/18/2012 10:24AM

    emoticon emoticon

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MS.ELENI 10/18/2012 9:09AM

    I can relate to just giving up.But we can't. I am doing terrible but keep trying but gained instead of lost. But depression hits us all.Sounds like you are under a lot of stress.Makes it hard. emoticon

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RALWINE 10/18/2012 9:07AM

    My husband is a stroke survivor of 2 1/2 years, and it changed him from the happy, funny, and loving guy I married into a reclusive, repressive and angry man. All his filters are gone and he sees shadows where there are none. The frustrations of his new physical and mental limitations ( which no one can see much of on the outside) wear on him every day, making things worse. I can't imagine what he's going through, but there is only one target around for him: me.

I know your pain seems unbearable, and I feel that way often. There are some days when I feel like I am just slogging through life and waiting for it to end. Wishing for something to happen to make it be done. Then the fog lifts a little and I see that it isn't so very bad that I can find nothing to savor in it. I have battled depression both before and since the stroke, and it's not something I wish to do, but it is my lot. I keep "putting up my dukes" for the fight.

Call your doctor and let her or him know that you need a fast appointment for an evaluation for depression. Your own health depends on it. Your words speak volumes. emoticon emoticon

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JUST2MUCH2 10/18/2012 8:52AM

    Can you find a support group for care-givers (maybe through his doc; like my neurologist has one for people in chronic pain)?

Ck out the resources through MHA--Mental Health America (formerly Mental Health Assoc.) or NAMI (national alliance on mental illness; they have support groups for family members that are very good).

www.nami.org

N
eed to go to physical therapy but if you would like me to brainstorm some other ideas, let me know. Caregivers need care, too!!!

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GHOSTFLAMES 10/18/2012 6:24AM

    ONE DAY AT A TIME YOU CAN'T GIVE UP LOVE HUGS AND PRAYERS GOING YOUR WAY. emoticon emoticon

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CAKAROO 10/18/2012 6:16AM

    emoticon emoticon

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SLIMMERKIWI 10/18/2012 5:32AM

    It sounds like Depression has gotten to you too, and this is very common for a carer! You are wondering if it is all worth it???? Well, I can tell you it is worth fighting for your emotional health EVERY STEP OF THE WAY!!! Of COURSE it is worth it - YOU are worth it and so too is your husband, even tho' it appears that he can't see that because of his own emotional turmoil.

Hang in there and grab as much support as you can get, and then some! It isn't being greedy - it is your right!

Kris

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MADAMES 10/18/2012 4:31AM

    It is hard to care for others. You mustn't give up,,,,do something nice for yourself today. Take a walk, drink a cup of tea or coffee. Write a list of three things you are grateful for today!

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Comment edited on: 10/18/2012 4:32:14 AM

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ARNETTELEE 10/18/2012 4:22AM

  Don't give up!

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