Thursday, October 18, 2012
I joined SP in Sept. 2012. I enjoy reading the articles and am learning a lot...about myself. I just read an article "Why do We beat ourselves up?"
Since joining, I struggle with exercise. I see myself as active, but when I look as how others see me, I'm not. I admit I'm sedentary. I read about SP who are so motivated to change their lives...then it hit me. One of the major things we have to learn is to take care of ourselves. It hit when I was reading the above article is that...I AM taking care of myself. How do I explain this without sounding like a lazy person? When something is bothering me, I retreat. I watch TV, or withdraw, preferably with food. My life is pretty isolated right now...no relatives around, no friends, I hardly go out of the house...I'm taking care of myself.
I'm beginning to realize that the methods I use for taking care of me is to be non-active. And for me, it's not working....learning from fellow Sparkers is really shifting my thinking.
I am far from giving up...and I am being kind to me. I was learned that all the messages we give ourselves leads to brainwashing ourselves. If I say "You're Not Worth It" everytime I don't stay on program, I begin to believe. It is especially true if you got these messages growing up. It hurts to be involved with others. They can tear your heart and soul apart...better to step back.
Again, my message seems doom and gloom, but tonight I just felt the need to share. I no longer want to live that way. I lost #100 30 years ago and gained it all back...and then some. I want to be healthy and live a happy life...and find peace for my inner child.
Thanks, fellow Sparkers, for letting me share.