Where's my Mojo?
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Well, it's been awhile since I blogged. Not sure why. I feel my 'mojo' has been a little off. I'm about 15 lbs. from breaking the 199 barrier, and maybe I've been a little spooked. I've started craving foods that mean me no good. I have kept up my daily exercise routine, and for that, I'm grateful. It's been my saving grace.
I made a commitment on 4/26/12 to exercise daily for 6 months, and see what effect it had. I'll do a true 'summary' update on that commitment on the 26th of this month, but suffice to say, I wouldn't still be here, evaluating where I am and where I'm going without having committed myself to working out everyday. It's the best decision I could have made.
Contrary to what I assumed from my previous failed efforts, losing direction doesn't necessarily mean losing sight of the goal. I'm still very much focused on my goals -- I've just somehow created a disconnection between my immediate actions and how they serve the long term goal. I've entered 'toddler-land' I guess.
Gimmie my treats now, and don't talk to me about restraint.
The good news is, I've been fairly consistent at cutting off my eating fairly early in the day (3 or 4pm), and I haven't been eating large volumes of food -- just making the wrong food choices. I've been eating pretty much the same thing everyday & I'm back to drinking my cream and sugar-filled coffees in the morning. Fall always feels right for a hot cup of java.
But I feel my 'mojo' attempting to return. I swore when I began back in April that no matter how unfocused I felt, that I would continue to do the things that kept me on track -- exercising, avoiding late night eating, logging on to SparkPeople and connecting with others, attending my Weight Watcher's meetings -- and for the most part, I have done all those things.
If I look at how my past weight loss has been stymied, I can say that quitting was the common factor. There was always a point down the road where I got my 'get-up-and-go' back, but then I had lost all this ground through months of careless behavior. I said I would not go that route this time, and I have not.
I hoped to hit my 30 lbs. by October 26th, but even if I don't quite make it there, I will forge ahead. I wanted to be down to 199 by the first of the year. That may or may not happen, but I will move forward. All these benchmarks are arbitrary. They are set by me alone. Meeting those milestones by a certain time would be great, but it's not a dealbreaker. A year from now, I won't care WHEN I got below 200, I'll only be concerned that I did it, and didn't allow discouragement to settle in.
So, I'm the same weight I was a month ago. I know myself, and I'm fairly certain I could be up by about 12 lbs. if I had not remained focused, even through my folly. So, in this case, simply maintaining is the victory. It's not the victory I was hoping for, but it's the one I got. Such is life. The script is being re-written all the time. The best we can learn to do is be flexible and learn to improvise. I'm working on it.
Starting weight to lose: 91.6 lbs.
Weight lost thus far: 27.3 lbs.
Weight left to lose: 64.3 lbs.