This is a true story. About 12 years ago, I developed a passion for Somerfield coronation chicken sandwiches. For those of you in the States, Somerfield is a supermarket chain here in the UK. Here's a rundown of who shops where:
Waitrose: Wills and Kate buzz around their local Waitrose on a Saturday afternoon getting in apple and spice yoghurts and Poilane bread.
Marks and Sparks (or Spencer if you want to be pedantic): for people who only shop in Waitrose when they've just been paid.
Sainsbury's: for normal people. Me.
Tesco's: for people who are watching what they spend. I shop there the week before payday. Or if I want chocolate waffles which nowhere else sells. But I don't want them at the moment, of course.
Somerfield: the only thing I've ever bought there was their coronation chicken sandwiches. There was a branch near my old job. I loved those sandwiches. Which brings me to the point of the blog. Insofaras there IS a point.
To me, Somerfield coronation chicken sandwiches were sandwich nirvana. Diced chicken breast with flaked almonds and raisin in sweetened spiced mayo. There was mango chutney involved too I think. I could have eaten them every day for a month and occasionally came close. Then one day, I read a newspaper article about supermarket sandwiches and hidden calories.
And JUST GUESS which supermarket sarnie came out on top of all the supermarket sarnies in the UK for being calorific?
Oh I don't need to tell you do I?
No I can't remember how many calories in that sandwich. I was so traumatised I blanked it out. I don't think I ever ate another one, that's how bad it was.
I don't think they sell them any more. I had a coronation chicken sarnie from Marks and Sparks the other day but it clocked a mere 520 calories (all counted). It was good, but I've had better. From Somerfield.
Life is a coronation chicken sandwich. Some bits of it are so delicious you really have to limit how much you consume, else you wouldn't appreciate them, and they wouldn't be good for you.
But life's coronation chicken sandwiches are the bits that keep you going when it's pouring with rain and you've got a cold and you've had a lousy day at work and your cats aren't speaking to you. (I shouldn't have eaten the rest of those beanz of course.)
Here's the last word on coronation chicken. Don't try this at home. Too many calories.