Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Jokes surrounding yourself with positive people
Last week coach Kristie live meeting was on surrounding yourself with positive people. Well you know what the one of the most important is my life is my sis Jeanne she is also the most positive person I know and she have time we do spend it together.
One of our things to do this week was to watch and read positive things that show you whatís Well for me and alots of people that GREW UP IN THE 60 AND 70 THET Rhoda And the Mary Tyler Moore show. I been having a marathon of them these last couple of days and it been great. I am not even nervous that MO COMING HOME FROM GERMANY TODAY. Okay a little nervous but the house is clean and her favorite meal that I make is waiting for.
Okay another things we was susposed to do was get positive quotes. Now I love quotes. You know people donít find my motto the greatest it one I have since I was A LITTLE KID MY God is first my family and friend area second and I am third. So here looking for some more motto.
anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new." - Albert Einstein
When faced with a challenge, look for a way, not a way out."
You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call 'failure' is not the falling down, but the staying down."
"It takes chances to make changes."
"We all have dreams. But in order to make dreams into reality, it takes an awful lot of determination, dedication, self-discipline, and effort."
Oay I havenít found it yet but I am trying.
"Linguistics Lesson" joke
A linguistics professor was lecturing her class.
"In the English language," she said, "a double negative forms a positive. In some languages though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. There is no language, however, wherein a double positive can form a negative."
Just then, a voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right!"
A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:
"Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're crazy to go to Rome So, how are you getting there?"
"We're taking Continental", was the reply. "We got a great rate!"
"Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser." That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?"
"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River called Teste."
"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks it's gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump, the worst hotel in the city! The rooms are small, the service is surly, and they're overpriced. So, whatcha' doing when you get there?"
"We're going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope."
"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. "You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."
A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome.
"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot.
And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job,and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"
"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."
"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me."
"Oh, really! What'd he say ?"
"He said: "Where'd you get the awful hairdo?"
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
"God," said Adam, "Why did you make Eve so beautiful?"
"So you would love her."
"But why did you make her so dumb?"
"So she would love you."
A man walks into a bar with a frog.
Man: "Bartender, will you give me a free drink if the frog orders it?"
Bartender: "Sure, whatever."
Man: "Gimmie a beer!"
Bartender: "The frogs lips didn't move, and yours did. No drink."
Man: "So, my frog is a ventriloquist!"
A plate of bacon and eggs walks into a bar. The bartender says "Get out of here, we don't serve breakfast."
A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender: "How much for a beer?" The bartender says: "For you, no charge.
An atom says to his friend, "Man, I think I've lost an electron." The friend says "Are you sure?" He answers: "I'm positive!"