Tuesday, October 16, 2012
This is just a venting moment and I really don't think anyone would want to read this. I had to get this off my chest and this was the only way I knew how to do that. So if you do read this please don't comment. I am crying now and don't really want to cry anymore today.
I have so much stress in my life right now I am not even sure what I am doing. I have a headache that has lasted now for about 3 months. My left knee has been hurting on a regular basis but now it hurts so much that the pain in right hip is not as noticeable. I don't stress eat, I tend not to eat when I am stressed. I work out like I have a drill sergeant on my back! I am also having "Personal Summers" and sometimes I want to just explode.
One morning getting ready to go to work my watch was scratching my wrist and I got so angry I literally ripped it off my arm. (Gotta get that fixed now). And then banged my hands on the steering wheel and took a couple few deep breaths, asked God to help me get thru this and backed out of the garage.
I am wound so tight that someone walked up behind me a little while ago and I almost passed out from hyperventialting. I am a basket case.
If I step back from myself I can push my issues to the side and function like a "normal" person. I just don't know what "normal' is these days. I go to others blogs and speak words of encouragement to them but it seems I can't take my own advice. The good thing is I am loosing inches and I am looking pretty good for a 53 and a half year old woman. I need my workouts since they keep me grounded. I try not to think too much about my stressful situation when I workout. I actually am happy then. It is my happy time. I want to just exercise and forget my problems an hour. I punch, kick, dance and sculpt, lift weights, and life is not so bad right then. I stop and within an hour I am back to "thinking" again.
I am tired now and will go back to work. I apologize if this blog was read and depressed anyone. But hey I did warn you!