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    LOLATURTLE   14,182
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Is 31 too old to still have tantrums?


Monday, October 15, 2012

Is it ironic that I have been trying to be more positive lately (like even about bad/annoying stuff), have a positive outlook, and this morning basically took a giant crap on my head?

I think maybe it is, but I don't feel like looking up the definition of ironic. I do know most of the stuff in the song by Alanis Morrisette isn't ironic, just unfortunate.

Isn't it unfortunate? Don't you think?

On the one hand, I want to stick to my keep your chin up, think positive, complaining never solved anything plan. On the other hand I want to complain SO HARD.

It's all just a bunch of individual little stuff, but also largely I am way too busy so I am stressed and anxiety ridden about it. You know how you can handle 1-2 little things that go wrong, but when 150 go wrong it's more like one huge thing...

Also it's officially time to admit that my hip hurts. It has been hurting on and off, but this morning I actually stopped my run way before the halfway point. I COULD HAVE done more, but I felt like, if I push myself today I could potentially hurt myself badly enough to miss my race in 2 weeks. I should really see a physical therapist, find out what's actually wrong with it, and learn some exercises to make it better.

You know. In my COPIOUS FREE TIME.
I can't even.

ARGH.

I will leave out the 20 page rant on how much I hate my new employer chosen worst health insurance plan EVER so I don't know if I can even find a doctor in a 57 mile radius that I can see without paying double up front and signing in blood...

Blah blah blah I'm lucky to have insurance blah blah blah should be grateful blah blah blah every day is a gift blah blah blah...

In summary, I'm a jerk, and I'm crabby for lots of reasons, but the main one is my work to-do list is making me want to quit the job I used to love, and I will probably have to work 12 hour days for a couple weeks to actually accomplish everything (First World Problems!) and BEST OF ALL I'm being denied the ability to say "at least I had an awesome run today," why bother functioning, the end.


Amazingly this has not caused me to go off the rails with food. Because comfort food is for sadness, and I am so, SO mad.
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JENCANTA 10/16/2012 11:05AM

    I'm genuinely hoping your Tuesday is starting off better than your Monday. If not, feel free to tantrum in my general direction. Yes, I've turned it into a verb now.

Everyone is entitled to be crabby once in a while. This does not make you a jerk. However, venting in a blog and not emotionally eating does mean that you have incredible coping mechanisms. :applause:

Also, whenever I was stressing out (and I can stress hardcore, man) at work or about work, the serenity prayer would become my mantra. Which was weird for 2 reasons: I'm not religious at all whatsoever, and it wasn't till I had been chanting it over and over in my head for a few months when my mother told me it was the prayer used in AA groups. It was amusing to me at the time, what can I say? I just think having a mantra in stressful times at work isn't so different from repeating words to oneself during a workout. Like Dory in Finding Nemo! "Just keep swimming."

Hang in there girly!!!



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JUMPINJULIE 10/15/2012 3:12PM

    I'm so sorry you are having a hard time. I have a quote in my room on a plaque by winston churchill and it states: if you are going through hell keep going. Sorry for swear. I hope that brings a smile to your face anyway. emoticon

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LEB0401 10/15/2012 1:58PM

    OMG... are we the same person????????????

I've titled today "Murphy's Monday" because EVERY.THING.IS.GOING.WRONG.
1. Did not turn crockpot "ON" last night so woke up to raw oatmeal swimming in room temperature milk... no bfast!
2. Alarm did not go off, woke up 30 mins late
3. Bf did not make coffee, feed dogs, or let them out bc he was running late as well
4. Raining and thundering outside so it took double the time to get the dogs to actually go outside and poop!
5. Boss's Day is tomorrow so I had to shell out $30 on a stupid made up holiday lest I look like the ungrateful employee
6. Now I have to awkwardly give my boss said gift and not make it creepy [have you figured out yet I'm socially inept and ruin every situation with my natural freakazoidness??]
7. Coworker is annoying me, nothing unusual, just not in the mood for it.
8. Huge reporting package is due today and color printer decided to cop a 'tude. EFF IT ALL!!


uggggggggggh I could SCREAM!!!!!!



Also.. my left hip has always done this weird popping thing, and it intensified when I run. Are you my long lost twin?

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SENIMMO 10/15/2012 1:16PM

    We are never too old for a well deserved tantrum. Venting is good for you. We've all had days where we've wanted/needed to yell and scream and pull our (someone else's) hair out. Eventually those feelings go away and we pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and get back to what we need to do.

I think you made a very good call not pushing yourself with the run. Find out what is causing the problem, make sure it isn't something serious. I know having a good workout is important, but your long-term health is more important. And you have an event coming up that's important to you. Be careful.

I hope you are feeling better, and if not- throw a bigger fit emoticon it might help. emoticon emoticon

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CREEKLADY1 10/15/2012 1:08PM

  Hang in there...it always gets better...lol....

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