So first off... the undies I bought... Are way to freaking big. Yes. Once again, my skewed body image has lead me to believing that I fit into size 18/20 (plus sized) undies. I wear 18/20 in my pants.
Well if I weren't so paranoid about an image of me in my undies floating around on the internet, and if I weren't so private about my body... I would post a photo of me in my new undies so you could laugh your butt off as much as I did. I looked truly ridiculous. There was so much extra fabric all bunched up all over my body that I looked like I had gained weight just wearing those underwear. What a waste of $10.00. *sigh*
So that got me to thinking. I am overweight. I am unhealthy. But I have body image issues. Real bad ones. I can't stand to look at myself in photos, or the mirror. I avoid it at all costs. I hate it when others have photos of me (that aren't just head shots). This really is a huge fear. I had read somewhere when anorexics and bulimics see themselves in the mirror, they see a much larger person than they really are. It's part of the sickness that they have. We may look at them and see an emaciated skeleton, but they look at themselves and see... me. Maybe I am complicating this. Maybe those undies really were over sized....
So for the final ROCK IT challenge I have to make some kind of New Year's Resolution (or begin formulating a plan about New Year's). I want to have a better body image about myself. No... I am not saying I will accept the fact that I am fat and become happy with it. I couldn't ever do that. But I can try to heal how I really see myself. So one day I can buy underwear that actually fit... and don't look like I need to gain weight to actually wear them.
Erebus was AMAZING this weekend. If you are ever in Pontiac Michigan, it is well worth it to check out Erebus. They only run during the Halloween season, so you'd better go soon (or wait till next year). If you like to be scared, this is it!
Once home, I set about working on my dress/corset again. I'm so proud of how it turned out. I felt a little skinny in it (except for the back fat being pushed up in the back... I'll have a Victorian style shirt on underneath it.) I am so proud of this costume. I made the corset and skirt pattern entirely from scratch. I researched tutorials online and taught myself how to craft this lovely dress. Yes - it was crafted from someone else's creation, but I am SO proud of having made it on my own.
Costume checklist by Saturday
1. Make Victorian style undershirt
2. Make mini top hat and birdcage veil
3. Make striped "spats" to go over my boots for a Victorian look
4. Apply ribbon to the sides of M's suit pants to make the look like a tux
5. Make a top hat for M, and Steam punk it out.
6. Make a bow tie for M
7. Practice zombie Make-Up
8. Bake brain shaped cookies for V's girl scout costume
9. Apply silk flowers to top of corset
Me in the dress....
My eating was awful this weekend. The only thing healthy about this weekend was that I DID get up and jog in the hotel gym!!! GO ME!
Morning Back Pain: 4
Monday - Pilates
Tuesday - Morning Jog
Wednesday - Yoga
Thursday - Morning Jog
Friday - Pilates
Saturday - Morning Jog
Sunday - Yoga
I hope you all had FANTASTIC Weekends