Sunday, October 14, 2012
I have a feeling this is going to be long.
So it's been forever since I blogged, I'd love to say that I took a long vacation and everything is great and I'm at my goal weight and life is perfect. Well, yea, that's what I'd like to say but I can't.
I can say I have worked hard at not gaining the weight back. I'm careful about what I eat and walk on a semi regular basis, which needs to become very regular again. I'm working on that.
I've let life get in the way. From friends wrecking havoc on our lives and totally being taken advantage of, to my Mom having Alzheimer's, a new Grand Baby and so much more that if I went into it all I'd be hear a month typing this out.
I'll just say there have been many stresses and although I survived each one, I lost a bit of the person I had become. And that makes me mad at myself.
I feel like I am being pulled 50 different directions at one time. This person needs this from me and that person wants me to do that and I'm supposed to do what for who?
I need to get back to me first and foremost. I need to start saying no again. I need to stop worrying about others and what they need from me first and become my own number one again. But that makes me feel selfish.
So, I have come to the conclusion, after much inner searching, selfish is OK. It has to be.
I never want to be the person I was but if I stay on the path I am now, it could happen.
So hear's to me and my healthy future, here's to taking charge and moving forward yet again. I said it in previous blogs, I have no set time limit on when I will get to my goal weight, but I will.