Sunday, October 14, 2012
I had a dream last night that I was running in a marathon. This is on my bucket list, but I had a setback when I tried to get started as a runner. I was jogging short intervals and felt my hip go out when I stepped down on my right foot then go back in when I switched to my left. I tried too much, too soon. After 4 weeks, my hip is better but still feels stiff and a little unstable.
I'm not giving up on my dream. Athletes come back from injuries all the time. And that is what I want for myself - to be an athlete, a runner who finishes marathons. I don't have to be the fastest or the best. Just doing it will be a huge change from my couch potato past.
For now, I'm focusing on non-weight bearing exercise to give my hip time to heal completely. I gave in to depression - a recurring monkey (gorilla) on my back - for a while because I thought this dream wasn't going to happen. I had a couple of binge days, though not as bad as I would have done in the past.
My dream isn't dead, just delayed. Like my dream of becoming a counselor. I am one unpaid internship away from a Bachelor's degree, but can't quit my (paying) day job. My mom (who is living with us), my sons, and my husband need me right now and time is a big issue. I'm not giving up on this either.
So, for now, I'm going to do what I can, as I can. My dreams are alive and well.