Saturday, October 13, 2012
My son is getting married tomorrow or rather today since I am writing this in the wee hours of the morning (Saturday). Although I know I am not losing my son, but gaining a daughter. I will still see them and spend time with them but I know how people feel after they are all grown and the nest is empty. He's my youngest and the last to leave and I am not sure how I feel about that. I know I will FINALLY get to clean that room and unfortunately it will stay that way. No more having to collect those missing cups that are just ALWAYS in his room. They will always be there in the cabinet when I want a drink. No more telling him "Could you please shut the door when you come back in, it is almost winter you know!" I know I will miss these things when I come home to an empty house, and will wish I could hollar at him when all is quiet. I am used to him going away for college but this is different, this is for good. I look back on those years when they were both home and I was a single mom , struggling to get it all done. It wasn't easy and I still sometimes wonder just how I done it all. They were both active in sports and my daughter was in band all through high school so there was always something that had to be done as soon as I got home from work and then after practices it was back home, fix dinner, make sure homework was done, chores, etc and do it all over the next day. The thing is although there were many days that I felt overwhelmed and frustrated, I wouldn't trade a minute of it. I would do it all over again. I have fewer responsibilities now but I miss those days and would go back if I could. I used to long for a moment of peace and quiet but now I will be back to turning the tv on just to hear some noise, like I did while he was away at college. If I could change anything, I would take more time to play. Not worry so much about those dishes in the sink and sit down read another book to that little one with her arms full of books. I wouldn't say "In just a little bit, let me get this vacuumed" to that little boy who wanted me to play nintendo, I'd stop what I was doing and play a bit. I'd take them outside and enjoy the sunshine, go to the park and do more of those things that had to wait till I had time. I love Karen Kingsbury's book for children "Let Me Hold You Longer." It's an awesome book and describes just the way I feel. People sometimes wonder why kids get along better with grandparents. Maybe, just maybe it's because we have learned our lesson. We know just how fleeting their childhood is and we stop doing what we are doing and just take the time to play because they won't be little long and we know we must enjoy it while it lasts, I know I do. My house doesn't get cleaned while my grandkids visit, it can wait till they go home. Don't get me wrong I know parents don't have that option because your house is their home and it has to be cleaned but sometimes just stop, let it go for awhile and take time to play because before you know it, your nest will be empty too and you will have all the time you want to clean!