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    KATD13   86,056
80,000-99,999 SparkPoints

I think I need a hug

Friday, October 12, 2012

My boyfriend and I have been back from vacation for two days. How could everything, already, be so awful?

I know that everyone has problems and stress. And maybe my issues are small, compared to others. But right now, I feel overwhelmed.
Of course, the problems we had when we went on vacation are still here. I've got a new job prospect, that is making me uneasy. We are looking for a new house and that is really stressing me out. My children each have ongoing issues in their lives, that are creating stress. And then there is the tremendous loss of Michael. He is in my thoughts constantly, I feel like not a minute goes by that I am not thinking about him. I try so hard not to cry, but that takes alot of work to keep it in.

And now:

*A close childhood friend of mine, her daughter Kate, has been ill for several years. She was so ill that she was unable to finish high school. Kate was an honor student with such an amazing future ahead of her. A beautiful child, inside and out.
They have taken her to see so many doctors & specialists, but no one can diagnosis what is wrong. We have always had faith that she would be diagnosed, a treatment would be found and she would recover. Kate has suffered for so long and tried to be so strong, but she is tired of the fight. They have Hospice for her and it is just a matter of time, before they lose her.
I do not know what is worse: Watching your child die, slowly in front of your eyes or losing them suddenly & unexpectedly. All I do know, is that the loss is just so horrible.

*This morning my boyfriend was in a car accident. He was hit in an intersection and rolled his new Jeep. We are so grateful that no one was seriously injured. But it was especially traumatic for him. It was less than 10 months ago that our Michael, was killed in a car accident. Traumatic for all of us, because we are still reeling from Michaels death. When I told my youngest daughter what happened, I saw the fear in her eyes. She keeps all her emotions inside, but I got a glimpse of it today.

I am always, always the glass is half full, kinda person. But I am having some trouble with that today. Mostly, I just feel like crying.


Member Comments About This Blog Post:
KATD13 10/22/2012 10:57PM

    Thank you, everyone, for all the kind words. You guys are the best!

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GRAMMACATHY 10/21/2012 11:42PM

    I am so sorry for your losses and for this particularly sad day. I hope that a week later you have found the strength to cope with the normal grief that you are feeling. Hugs and prayers.

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TURTLESLOW14 10/14/2012 9:11AM

    sending you as many emoticon 's I can and I will be praying for your family and your friends. It seems like you have so much on your plate, but I am very grateful your boyfriend was not hurt in the accident.

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WICCANWIDGET 10/13/2012 7:50PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon Sorry to hear all that you and your family and friend are going through. Remember to place you troubles with whatever higher power you believe in and they will show you the answers. emoticon

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BEAUTY_WITHIN 10/13/2012 1:42PM

    Sorr to hear about everything. emoticon Give yourself the time to grieve and let yourself deal with the pain and trauma

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NEELIXNKES 10/13/2012 11:57AM

    emoticon emoticon Take care of you. Sounds like a rough few days.

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RAINBOWFALLS 10/13/2012 8:18AM

    emoticon emoticon take care

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WARMSPRINGDAY 10/13/2012 8:07AM

    emoticon emoticon

This is a lot of stress in the midst of grief. In time of grief, it doesn't take much to cause additional stress. Thinking of you in a special way. Thank you for sharing.

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MICHELLE_391 10/13/2012 12:56AM

    emoticon emoticon

Please don't minimize the stress and pain you have in your life by comparing it to that of others. What you ar going through is very real and beery important. Be kind to yourself and love with all of your heart.

You WILL get through this.


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FITKAT62 10/12/2012 5:00PM


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BABY_GIRL69 10/12/2012 3:24PM

    emoticon Darling, I am so sorry to hear that you are going through..I will definitely whisper a few prayers for you & your family. Be encouraged that he was alright & we will always cry tears & miss those who have gone on from us. Remember they are forever in your heart & I love when I dream about my brother & mom who are both deceased. It takes time to feel at ease when you lose a loved one. It is a process and you're not done until your heart tells you are. Even then it's not any time you need to blog about it do so... emoticon

God bless & keep you!! emoticon

Dee emoticon

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MICHELAR 10/12/2012 2:50PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
So sorry you are goign through such a hard time doll. Praying for brighter days for you.

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EVERYONESANGEL 10/12/2012 1:48PM

    Awwwww so sorry for your loss and your friends troubles as well pray god will give you the answers you need to make things better for you all.

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WHERERMY62KEYS 10/12/2012 12:53PM

  emoticon emoticon

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NEWHEARTSTART 10/12/2012 12:41PM

    I am sorry for your troubles past and present.

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