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    TRACYNOTGIVINUP   32,947
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Would You Throw $4 in the Garbage???

Friday, October 12, 2012

I did. I threw away four dollars. At first I thought I was crazy for doing so. But again I see this as another step in the right direction that I wouldn't have to done in the past. Are you wondering yet why I threw away the four dollars?

I have had a few rough days here. One of those days I had to run to the store and on half impulse bought a container of natural peanut butter. I am out of my peanut butter, but I have Skippy here and could have made due with what I have until I got my regular jar at Costco, but I saw that container. It was a container from the store, so it was freshly made. It looked so appealing and I figured well it is only $4, so put it in my cart. BIG MISTAKE!

I got home and immediately tried it upon taking it out of the bag. Not only was it the yummiest thing ever, I think it was mismarked on the label and not just roasted peanuts, they were HONEY roasted peanuts peanut butter. Goodness it was heavenly. I put in the fridge and never stayed out of the first day. I kept going back and taking little spoonfuls, mind you this is during my binge day as well. This didn't help my binging at all. I couldn't leave the peanut butter alone.

The next day I woke up and put the container in the back of the fridge, thinking out of sight out of mind.....guess what???? NOPE, it was on my mind all the time, I again was in that container non stop. Little spoonfuls, piece of toast with the peanut butter on it, some with an apple. It was crazy.

Yesterday morning, the thoughts of it started again, so I got up and threw it away. My DH thought I was crazy and told me to at least bring it to my parents house (my family are skippy eaters) or give it to someone who would eat it. Nope, it went in the trash and then the trash went out to the big container.

Now I know what lots of people are probably thinking, as my husband stated when I tried explaining myself to him. "but peanut butter is healthy and putting on toast and apples isn't so horrible either".

Well for me it is horrible. When you could finish the pound of peanut butter in less than three days THAT IS HORRIBLE! I learned that peanut butter is a trigger food for me and when I am in a bad state of mind, it is going to be even worse. I will admit, I do little amounts of peanut butter on a spoon daily. Guess what else, I don't track it. It is never more than a teaspoon and I figure it is healthy for me and isn't going to hurt my overall plans. I know if I started eating more or gaining weight that would be the first thing I looked at as well. I also think the fact that my normal jar of peanut butter goes into the cupboard that has a lock on it (this is due to I keep my chocolate chips and baking goods in there and two times before Samuel was two, he got in there and dumped the bags of chips and ate them off the floor) So having the lock on it makes it not so accessible and when if I binge it is all about easy to get to and put in my mouth.

So, the peanut butter went in the garbage even though it cost me $4 and DH was bothered that I did it. I don't care, I know for me it was one of the best things I did for myself this past week during the situation going on at my house and let me tell you I still did exercising during this bad time I had, one night I had a horrible eating day and still went and ran 5 miles, that is good for me. Throwing away the peanut butter was FAR better. It also gave me a feeling of control. Like I proved something to someone, though it was only to myself. I felt powerful when I was done. This morning I am feeling better than I have all week, maybe that powerful feeling is helping who knows.

I do know that I do it again. There is no reason to keep something around that is going to deter you so much from your goals and that is what it would do to me. I ate TOO MUCH of it, which in turn makes me feel guilty and that usually leads to me eating more food. The same goes for eating something you aren't enjoying, just because you think you should. My daughter is again trying to regain her control of food and for two days in a row had eggs for breakfast and ate them. Then says last night, she hates them. Then don't eat them! There are plenty of options out there for healthy meals that you will enjoy!

Speaking of eggs and totally off the topic here though, I am enjoy egg meals in a cup. Using a mug, you make scrambles with lots of stuff in them. Yesterday I did one with cheese, light sausage and eggs. This morning I used leftover chicken fajita stuff and did that with the eggs. YUMMY.

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BOOKWORM27S 11/9/2012 12:45PM

    Yes, sometimes it is hard. But I always tell myself it is better to see it in the trash than show up on the scale!

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NASFKAB 11/9/2012 10:40AM

  did the right thing awesome

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SAINTBETH 10/31/2012 12:57PM

    You done good.

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PURSUEJOY 10/21/2012 12:21PM

    Yeah, Tracy ~ I know what you mean, and you are totally right!! I did that with a box of ice cream sandwiches that I bought in a moment of weakness. With in 15 minutes of getting home, I had eaten 3 of them. So I put them in a plastic sack, and tossed them in the dumpster at my apt building.

Peanut butter is another trigger for me, too. Good job taking care of you, girl!!!
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KATHIC2 10/18/2012 8:00AM

  Glad you got your run in!

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MERRY_XMAS 10/16/2012 2:51AM

    You are doing great!
Even though there are drawbacks, you stay true to yourself and focused on your goals!
I got rid of a bag of chips the other night. My parents left them here and I decided I could open it and eat 2-3. Well, I almost ate half the bag so the other half went to the garbage (and some were given to the dogs emoticon )

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KABOOPER 10/15/2012 2:20PM

    I agree Honey is not HORRIBLE for you, however if you eat an ENTIRE JAR in once sitting Honey can be VERY bad for you.
Good for you, for knowing how to handle the situation.
And if your DH as that upset about it. then HE COULD HAVE taken in elsewhere.
MY DH has great "Hints" too unless they involve him actually doing anything about it. (like doing the grocery shopping or throwing something out.)
We all have our struggles. You get a gold star for knowing what yours are.

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REBECCAMA 10/15/2012 11:21AM

  I do the same thing with ice cream. I buy it and can't leave it alone until it's gone. A serving or two a night until the container is empty. I am the only one in my house who eats ice cream (and the only one who eats peanut butter for that matter) so I have no one to blame except myself. Over the weekend I took my ice cream and threw it in the trash. Might have been cheaper than $4, but it was still food thrown away.

Good for you for getting rid of it.

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ERTSMOM 10/15/2012 10:58AM

    I'm proud of you! Your willpower is remarkable.
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MOM_TO_AKI 10/13/2012 6:46AM

    emoticon
Good for you

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WIZKEY 10/12/2012 9:42PM

    Good for you!! I would love to see your recipe for you egg in a cup.

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COCK-ROBIN 10/12/2012 9:25PM

    Very good! You had a learning experience, and I'm proud of you, Tracy! You found out a trigger food. That setback is really a step of progress.

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KEIPONY 10/12/2012 9:12PM

    Sounds like this was a "test" week for you and you kicked butt! Good for you on throwing out the PB. I always had a problem with throwing food away, but now it's getting easier to do. I hope things get better with the family situation. It sounds like you are using the right tools to overcome obstacles. (Something I'm still learning and trying to get stronger about)

Take care

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SNUZSUZ 10/12/2012 8:54PM

    Good job!

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JUMPINJULIE 10/12/2012 8:18PM

    So proud of you. For realizing that is a trigger and getting rid of it. Keep going you can do anything. emoticon . Thank you for the comments on my blog i apprecite it so much.

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LOVES2TRAVEL2 10/12/2012 6:58PM

    This was very helpful to me, particularly as a beginner here on SP. I could relate to the idea of not tracking that (oh, so small...at least in our minds) spoonful at a time. The tracker really is the truth-teller when we use it like we should.

I applaud your decision. Keep on going!

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OPTIMIST1948 10/12/2012 5:11PM

    Its better to throw it away than wear it. Although, I would have been strongly temped tokeep it because i am super cheap. Still, you made the best decision for you.

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DALID414 10/12/2012 2:58PM

    emoticon
I'm SO on your side with this one! I would have thrown it out too!


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MENNOLY 10/12/2012 2:28PM

    Hi Tracy! I would not have thrown it away but that is why you are losing weight and I have stalled. emoticon

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GOSPARK45 10/12/2012 1:07PM

    This has taken me so many years to overcome, that need to NEVER throw food out. So we eat it. Are you kidding, who is THAT helping. I have learned to throw out anything that is a trigger food, also. Remember, whether it is in my stomach or in the trash, that little kid in India is still not going to eat it. And I am beginning to win the war over my addiction to food. Other people (call them skinny) have no concept of binge eating, so they think throwing out food is crazy, I mean why would someone eat when they aren't hungry? lol
I say, good for you. You've just won another battle. emoticon emoticon

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MEH50BEWELL 10/12/2012 11:40AM

    Oh I've had that homemade honey roasted peanut butter on home made bread --- heavenly!! and I agree - can't have it in the house. I'm a PB and BBQ sauce NUT! SP has helped me address these temptations and now I can eat a rice cake with a "smear" of PB Not a TB like I did before. We are JIF people and I keep it at a minimum. Good for you taking control - and if you are anything like me you have ate your way through $4 and it has appeared in places you didn't want LOL. Take control of you - no matter who gets upset about it. Have a great weekend.


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NEW-CAZ 10/12/2012 11:22AM

    I'm the same about Cadbury's creme eggs around Easter time, but this year I had it licked.
I bought a box of 6 and allowed one a day, included into my tracker and come nighttime I was in heaven, relishing the goo.
And you'll never guess? I bought a second box as the shops finished stocking and resolved to keep them in the fridge for treats. I still have 3 left.

It can be done, but I totally understand your actions!

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VTRICIA 10/12/2012 11:12AM

    Good on you! Sometimes I get a treat and just work real hard to control my intake, but it's miserable, and I remember that and keep from doing it for a few weeks.

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PAMNANGEL 10/12/2012 10:52AM

    Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do!

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BIGPAWSUP 10/12/2012 10:45AM

    Awesome!! Congratulations on seeing and eliminating your trigger! That was awesome.

With everything else you are dealing with, you are still maintaining you self control. That is FANTASTIC.

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AUNTB63 10/12/2012 10:38AM

    Seems like a lot of us have taken that one food item and tossed it. When I first started SP and was trying to get into the "groove" of this journey I would purchase items that I thought I could just portion control and be done with it. There were days when this wouldn't work so I would take that bag of chips or those chocolate chip cookies over to the sink and water them down.....yes I would destroy them...no way I could go back and get any more. I really found this empowering over that food and have since been able to 95% of time portion control items and stick to it.....still tracking everything I eat.

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RUN_BAKE_BLOG 10/12/2012 10:36AM

    As a recovering binge eater, I can not tell you how much food I have thrown away! What is the difference if I EAT $4 or throw it away? Which is worse? I shouldn't have spent the money any way because I know good and darn well when I purchase a particular item that I will binge on it. So I don't see it as a financial decision!
Peanut butter CAN be healthy.
Peanut butter is loaded with fat and depending on the brand it is loaded with sugar.
Honey is sugar, natural or not...
So honey roasted peanuts are no nutritional pat on the back.
You were right to do what you did!

As for a daily peanut butter habit...
Well, you might want to measure and track it. There are 3 teaspoons in a tablespoon. So if you have three tsp a day of Skippy Creamy (not sure what kind you actually eat) But this is what you are adding to your day:

Calories 95
Total Fat 8 g
Saturated 2 g
Total Carbs 4 g
Sugars 2 g
Protein 4 g

I admit that I obsess over measuring and tracking but if I didn't, I would not be able to maintain especially since the binge monster resides in my brain.

Good for you for tossing the peanut butter!



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SYNCHRODAD 10/12/2012 10:31AM

    You love that stuff so much, It sounds like you threw out only about 85 cents into the garbage. You tossed it "did it" rather than "gave up" and ate it. It is ended up in the waste instead of on your waist. Way to go! emoticon

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CWHEATLEY12 10/12/2012 10:04AM

    The past couple of days I have been staring some of my very own trigger foods in the face when I open the fridge or the cupboard. Reading your blog has really had me thinking about how much more important my health is than sneaking pieces of cheese every time I open the fridge or just grabbing a few crackers each time the cupboard opens. Thank you for being such a great inspiration and I am so glad to hear you are feeling better today!

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LEMONLYMAN1 10/12/2012 10:00AM

    While PB isn't a trigger food for me I have done similar things throughout my time on spark. Chips are a big thing for me. I have thrown a few bags away in my time when I've given in and bought them. Now I just flat out avoid the aisle in the store. I don't think there's anything wrong with throwing a trigger away. It shows that food is not more important to us, and also that we are in control.

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LOSE15YES 10/12/2012 9:45AM

    Peanut butter cannot live in my house. I throw out enough trigger foods that I don't give it a thought anymore. If I have a cookie craving, I will go the bakery and end up buying three...different types. I eat two bites out of each...squish the bag and throw it away. Next weekend is a huge family food fest at my house. I will freeze leftovers of meatballs, ravioli, sausage.....and give or throw away the many, many deserts that family will bring.

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DONNABRIGHT 10/12/2012 9:22AM

    I love the egg in the mug idea - thanks for that! Good choice on the peanut butter!

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JENAE954 10/12/2012 9:19AM

  I CAN relate!
Been there and done that.
Yes, in the garbage the items went.
Did I feel guilty about it?
Yes but not for long.
Played it all the way thru.
Result? I didn't eat whatever it was, don't have to lose those creepy pounds.

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CATHGREEN8 10/12/2012 9:15AM

    thanks, Tracey, your honest sharing always helps me put something it prospective. Last night I found an open bag of red licorice. I had the calories...but I don't see it as a healthy choice of something that will advancemy plan...so I am joining you at the trash can and they are going out.

I am all for an occasional treat... But red licorice is just not worthy.

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FIREFLY4407 10/12/2012 9:12AM

    Yes PB is part if a healthy diet, but only when eaten in the intended serving sizes. If it will trigger a binge that you are not quite able to control at this time (I know you have a lot of stress going on), then absolutely you did the right thing to take control back and do the right thing for YOU. Way to go!!!

Comment edited on: 10/12/2012 9:14:59 AM

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EVER-HOPEFUL 10/12/2012 9:01AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon you are stronger than me luckily for me my husband doers the shopping and when ever i ask him to buy peanut butter he always says no,lol.i donīt know how it will go when he is away from the 22nd of this month and i am doing the shopping.peanut butter will several times go on the shopping list i know i canīt resist it.keep on keeping on you are doing great love. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JUDIL62 10/12/2012 8:54AM

    THIS is why I am on Spark. Thank you my friend, reading this made me feel not so alone. Your honesty hit home with me. I need to start throwing those trigger foods in the trash! The funny thing is when I get into a "binge" state of mind, I'll find the worst "healthy" thing in the house to eat (because there is nothing else!)

Keep blogging and it will get better. We can do this.



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RICHILA 10/12/2012 8:52AM

    Proving it to yourself is the best person to prove it to-.regaining control is awesome! I can't have sugar free caramels in the house for the same reason-I just keep going back. Good for you!
Spark On! We Got This! emoticon

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ELAYNE39 10/12/2012 8:40AM

    Sometimes you just have to get rid of it! Good for you for being able to toss it. It can be hard to do, but worth it!

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ZENNITH 10/12/2012 8:38AM

    Exactly the right thing, $4 in the bin or a couple of pounds on you? Well done!

I don't buy peanut butter, I like to dip my finger in it! My treat after the half marathon on Sunday is going to be peanut butter sandwich, Matt is under instruction to take the jar to work the following day!

Comment edited on: 10/12/2012 8:46:59 AM

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HOLLYS_NEW_LIFE 10/12/2012 8:35AM

    Nope, I've done that. Because I have binging tendencies, I will throw it out and not give a second thought to the cost.

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POOKASLUAGH 10/12/2012 8:27AM

    I know a Sparker who binges on PB and when she brings it home and finds herself binging, she actually pours dish soap into the jar and fills it with water, to contaminate the PB, because she says that just throwing it in the trash doesn't help - she's likely to just pull the jar back out!

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LINDAMARIEZ1 10/12/2012 8:22AM

    honey can be good 4 u too! I would have keep it and just weent by the total calories on the back! I am guess it would be less than before?

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