Thursday, October 11, 2012
This past weekend was a bit rough... I simply wasn't myself, I felt "crummy," and really just didn't want to do anything... I didn't want to exercise, didn't want to eat, didn't want to engage in any of the usual weekend activities, etc. I just shrugged it off as a bad mental/emotional weekend. We all have those, right?? After battling depression for many years and now being off any sort of depression meds for 5+ years, relying solely on prayer and exercise to mend my mind and heart, I'm bound to have a bad weekend here and there, right?? Well, in reality... Yes, I am, but I learned that I shouldn't be so quick to dismiss such symptoms as simply depression rearing its ugly head. As it turns out, I probably wasn't just depressed. I was actually getting sick or at least I think that's the case...
You see, I didn't have the best weekend nutritionally. Not b/c I ate too much or the wrong (unhealthy) foods, but b/c I just didn't consume ENOUGH calories. I was “out of sorts” and regardless of WHY (depression, physical illness, etc), when I feel like that, I don’t feel like eating... I actually pushed the calories I did have, literally forcing myself to eat, as nothing sounded good. I didn't nourish my body and definitely wasnt taking care of myself... Instead of considering I might actually be physically sick and needing rest, I continued to force myself to perform at my usual levels. All the while, failing to provide my body w/the necessary energy. It is also possible that I might not have been getting sick... Maybe I was just having a bad couple days (mentally/emotionally), and my reaction and resulting behaviors led to physical illness. Regardless, I know the end result.
So, that brings me to the weekend, weeks, months (you get the picture) ahead... I know that regardless of the situation, my mental or physical state, or any other circumstances that may arise... I absolutely MUST nourish my body to sustain my health!! I am good at remembering to exercise to improve my mood, but not as good at remember to consume enough "fuel" to keep my engines running on all cylinders!
So, all that being said... This week I've been trying really hard to get at least 1200 calories/day and to find SOMETHING that is appetizing. If I can't, at least I can find the healthiest options to meet my minimums, and I know I must continue along that path this weekend and beyond. No more "I feel crummy, so I'm not eating" excuses. I'm definitely NOT gonna feel better if I'm running on empty AND I risk of potentially making myself physically sick or sicker...
Regardless of where we are in our journey toward a healthy lifestyle, it is essential we all realize that this IS a "journey," and there may be destinations, but it never ends... It is a LIFELONG journey and sometimes we have to stop and take inventory of what we're doing and finding new areas for improvement. Several times this week I shared the following quote:
“IF YOU ALWAYS DO WHAT YOU’VE ALWAYS DONE. YOU’LL ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU’VE ALWAYS GOT!!”
I guess if you’ve always gotten what you’ve wanted, then you must be doing everything right and this absolutely would not apply... BUT we all know better than that... I don't want to keep doing what I've done in the past b/c I don't want to get results like I got after this past weekend. SO, I am striving to make some positive changes to improve my health. While I know I can’t completely prevent myself from ever getting sick, paying better attention to my nutrition and ensuring I have an adequate calorie intake COULD potentially help and definitely won’t hurt!! I'm ready to make some changes and continue to move forward in my journey!!