Thursday, October 11, 2012
I couldn’t believe how nervous I was about this meeting. Don’t ask me why, I just was. In fact, I was nervous eating all day (didn’t over do it at all and was well within my calorie range for the day), got a lot of work done and even made sure I had my directions to the hospital printed out. Since the class was getting out around 8pm, I wouldn’t be able to run but I could definitely get on that fitness bike so I came to group in my workout clothes.
Overall, the group was very warm, welcoming and supportive. I’m the youngest in the class with everyone being late 40s and over. They wanted to know all about me, all about my struggle and even wanted to come to my next show.
Although I was pretty nervous, and still am about going to group every week I am going to continue to go. My hesitation is mostly because I feel like being in a group setting is a double edged sword. On one hand I feel like it will help me quite a bit but on the other, some of my fellow group members are experiencing grief so fresh, it’s terrible to watch. My grief isn’t “fresh”, it’s old and old grief takes a toll. This isn't to discount their "fresh" grief, but it might not help me if I've been dealing with grief for over 7 years. Make sense? Some of those people have lost people in the year or so, and their pain is so evident. Can I handle watching them suffer each week? Will my story help them? Only time will tell.
After the group was done, I chatted with one of the women who recently lost a husband and who implored me to continue coming. Our group meeting was kind of intense because of another member's personal problems, and I guess she didn’t want me to be too scared to come to the group. I told her not to worry and that I’d definitely be back. She told me, "This is a really great group, I promise!"
Later on, I did my cardio
to combat all of the sadness I was feeling. It was really overwhelming, but in a positive way I think.
“This is the best group ever!” says one of my grief group members.
I think this is going to be a good thing.