I know I'm always ranting. I don't expect anyone to actually read these psychotic blogs. I know I've said most of it before anyway. I just do it because I don't know how else to deal with the frustration and also just to keep a record of the journey.

Ok I'm most frustrated right now by all of the variables involved in this whole process. It drives me insane. I'm a person that has a lot of trouble making decisions. Give me too many options or variables and I feel like I'm going to explode. I just can't make sense of everything.

I've been using chocolate milk as my post workout snack for months now. My cousin is a beach body coach and that was his recommendation, plus I've read about that several times, including here on sparkpeople. For me, it's a great way to curb my killer sweet tooth. If I know I'll be having it, I can say no to everything else so much easier and it motivates me to go hard during my workout cuz I know I'll earn a cup of chocolate milk if I do.

But then one of my fb friends just offhandedly said that you shouldn't have any sugar post workout so that you'll burn more fat. I know I've read that you do need carbs to rebuild muscle or whatever. Now I'm just confused. So I googled it and I did find some articles from like scientific sources that said something about growth hormones that burn fat and if you eat ugar it will burn tht instead of the fat and basically nullify the workout. SO WHAT SHOULD I EAT??

Someone just tell me the right answer and I will do it! Most of the time my problem isn't doing the right thing, it's knowing what the right thing is.

So then when I was researching it, I found all this stuff about who we shouldn't drink ilk at all. Which I've heard before but I've just ignored it because I didn't want to get overwhelmed with too much change at once, but now I'm feeling overwhelmed just from reading it. Dairy is a big art of my life. I don't have any intestinal or allergen issues from it but is it affecting my weight loss? I ve read other articles that suggest that dairy helps weight loss. How am I supposed to know who to believe?

And on top of that I'm still just driving myself crazy with losing so slowly. I was down to 170 and then went back up to 172. For no reason, I don't think I was really doing anything differently. I've only missed 1 workout in the last 10 days. I know all the "could be's" but the reality is that I've lost 9 lbs since july 23rd - or 7 lbs if I really did gain back 2 lbs. and I know I've been working hard. I still have 55lbs to go. Am I losing slow because I'm getting closer? 55 still seems a long way off. Is it my IUD? Maybe because I'm only 5'0" I'm eating too many calories. I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE PROBLEM IS!!

I know there's a lot of other things that have been bothering me and confusing me but I can't think of any right now.

I know there's nothing I can do except keep going. If I give up ill just be worse off because ill gain it all back and I definitely don't want that. I dont think im gonna be able to do the personal trainer thing, even though its such a good deal, i cant stand it. we just dont have the money. money money money money money. A little more of it would solve so many problems. My only outlet is to post repetitive ranting blogs on sparkpeople. So I guess that's what I'll do.