Thursday, October 11, 2012
I'm going to join in on this blogging challenge:
Question 1. Review a book you recently read.
This would require me to have actually finished a book recently, right? Sadly, I have not finished a book since August. The last book I finished was 'Between the Lines' by Jodi Picoult & Samantha Van Leer. It was just too fluffy. I never really got into it. The book before that was 'Coming Apart' by Charles Murray. I ate that up. I *loved* it. I wish that more people would read it and discuss it and think about what he says.
I am currently reading Wonder by R. J. Palacio aloud to my daughter (who has a craniofacial syndrome). My son who doesn't want to admit (1) that he likes to be read to and (2) that he cares about the subject matter finds a way to listen when I am reading. Because I try only to read it when both kids have the time to be listening and my son is 'around' (not hiding in his room), we're making slow progress. It's an interesting read. I don't find her take on craniokids very close to our own experience (my daughter SEEMS much less negative about the whole situation than Auggie does) but I think that my son sees a lot of similarity to his own situation. They haven't gotten much into the mother's POV yet so I can't really talk about that except that I relate well to feeling both badly that I spend so much more energy meeting my daughter's needs than my son AND that the time I spend with my daughter is so much less fun than the time I spend with my son.
You can read more about Wonder here: www.slate.com/articles/d
Life goes on.
Thanks to those who took time to comment, commiserate, offer advice on my last entry. DH did ask yesterday what I was mad about. I was glad by then that I had processed enough to be able to, honestly, tell him that I'm not mad. Just sad and tired. I'm really, really worn down by the ongoing stress related to his job. I'm sure it's worse for him as it is HIS job. But that doesn't take away from the fact that it's hard for me. He's looking to me to 'fix things', to put our relationship back on track, and right now I am just too worn down by the whole situation to have any energy for that. I've been carrying too much of our family all by myself for too long while he remains focused like a laser beam on work. I don't really know how to fix that when there is no end in sight to his preoccupation. If he can't share in the raising of our children (forget share in the task of nurturing our relationship) then I just keep running closer and closer to empty. I try to 'fill myself back up' but I feel like I do more and more to try to take care of myself and it's having less and less of an effect. I feel it emotionally and I feel it physically. I am exhausted.
We decided to do a simple dinner tomorrow (probably takeout pizza or subs) and a nice dessert (chocolate fondue with cake, strawberries, bananas) with sweet sparkling wine. That meal can be done even if he works late (and he's taking our son out to a scout camp out after work so even if he left at normal time, dinner would be late). We might go out for a fancier meal on Saturday but it feels sort of silly. We can't go out alone so we might as well just say we are going out, not we are going out for our anniversary. I'm OK with all of that. I think at 16 years we are past the need to do anything elaborate. Giftwise we decided to get separate rooms on our Mediterranean cruise next summer and I think we're going to look at the possible excursions and pick one of those to be our anniversary gift. We rarely do anniversary gifts and when we do they tend to be something for the house or something related to travel.
Running for 2012:
139.5 miles + 3.25 miles = 142.75 miles
next 5K in 2 days
Treadmill run. Did the 5K program. Finished in 28:18. I have no idea if that's a best or not. Close but maybe not my best. I expect to finish under that time on Saturday.