Thursday, October 11, 2012
So why now? Or why now and why the times before? LOL I dunno. Sometimes I would start to work out and try to keep the weight off and then I'd just not "feel it". I can't explain the process but for anyone that has lost it and gained it back, you know what I am saying. Heck, for anyone that has lost it PERIOD or IS losing it, they understand. It's the "final motivation", the "Its time" feeling, the "no going back" motive that makes you put one step in front of the other and keep going. Not all days are good. I don't expect butterflies and roses but phew, it has been a journey.
Which is one of the reasons why I am writing as Journey to I. I've always said that there is nothing wrong with saying "me" sometimes. Being "selfish" is sometimes not a bad thing, especially for those people that always give to others and don't expect anything in return. You sometimes give away all of yourself but don't realize it until its too late. I feel everyone should fight the "I" battles that happen. In my head, at this very moment, there is an evil person that is saying:
I can't do this.
I am fat.
I can't breathe.
I will never get into my size 8 jeans again.
I am a horrible girlfriend.
I am difficult to live with.
I am moody.
I am depressed.
Those self defeating words can ruin a person. Trust me, I know. I am turning my "I" story into a positive. I am going to make this journey once again. Hopefully for the last time but guess what, if I can do it twice, I can do it a dozen times. I just know that my time is now and I can't ignore the signs that have been given to me.